Feeling in limbo

[FunTraybake]

So at new year my oh left me. We have 2 kids 16 & 13. I posted previously on this. He also quit his job.
He didn't have anywhere else to be in the new year so he came back home but has moved out of the bedroom and sleeps on a bed in the dining room.

He's not wanted to talk about what happened or what's happening and I've not pushed it as he was stressed and he could be depressed.

It's been strange and I feel I'm walking on eggshells a lot of the time as I think I have to be careful of what I say but now he's talking about us getting a new car but at the same time this week he went out and stayed out all night. He only mentioned going out that night and didnt say anything about staying out all night. He wasn't back before I went to work the next day. I think he came back just before lunch.

He hasn't looked for a new job yet and he's told his work that he'll try and stay on until a replacement is found.

Should I try and push him to talk or just continue as we are?

so he doesn’t work? Do you?
You don’t mention OW?

What do you want? Surely not to live like this. He's treating you unfairly, regardless of the reasons. Being in limbo is no way to live and your children must be very confused by the situation too. Take ownership and demand a talk. If he won't do that, surely you'd be happier taking away that horrible anxiety feeling and telling him he needs to leave?

We both work. He's handed in his notice but his work haven't found a replacement so he's staying until they do. Job advert is up for the 2nd time and earliest anyone could start would be mid March I suppose.

I want to try and work it out. Talk to see if we can save our marriage. We've been together for 27 years. He was my best friend as well as husband but now I'm feeling lost.

He's not a great talker though and if he is depressed I'm worried I'll push him over the edge.
If I ask him to leave he won't have anywhere to go as we don't live near family and soon he could potentially not even have a job.

What the heck must your children be enduring Op?

He was out all night. Hmm fuck that. You’re still married. You deserve to be told what happening and treated with respect. If he’s depressed he needs to get help. Either way, this is unhealthy for everyone, including the children. He needs to face up to what’s happening here. I would sit him down and calmly say that you are concerned and you want to be supportive but you need to know what’s happening and how to move forward. That’s totally reasonable. The kids have to come first. Their mental health and wellbeing will be being affected by this. The quicker you can address it the better. Even if it’s not the outcome you hoped for, at least you’ll know and can move forward appropriately.

I really feel for you OP, must be hell living like this. I agree with everyone else, be strong and take ownership of this situation.
I know you want to save your marriage, but it takes the both of you to want this. He sounds incredibly selfish. Has he thought about his kids?