Page 2 | Partner mocking me

Judepol · 2025-02-21T17:05:59+00:00

My partner keeps mocking me. He will ask about something and I will says “it’s alright” if I think something is good and he laughs. I say well what do you want me to say and he says I always say that. I don’t take the mick out of him. I think I will explode if he laughs at me again. I find it disrespectful. I am a good partner and he should be lucky to have someone so kind.

OSU · 21/02/2025 18:21

My mother in law says 'it's alright' to describe almost anything and we laugh as it's down to tone of voice for us to determine if it's really good or shite. To be clear, we don't laugh at her just about her. In the main it's because it seems like something dreadful will happen if she widens her vocabulary, in particular, adjectives....perhaps your partner has noticed the same in you.

ItGhoul · 21/02/2025 18:23

Wishyouwerehere50 · 21/02/2025 18:06

@Ilovelurchers if someone you love and cared for asked you to stop ( even if you're a hoot a minute)..... would you respect them and care enough, to stop?

Personally, if a boyfriend was offended by the kind of thing I would consider affectionate teasing, I would stop the whole relationship, because that level of sensitivity isn’t something I could ever find attractive. It would mean we were fundamentally incompatible.

ItGhoul · 21/02/2025 18:30

Wishyouwerehere50 · 21/02/2025 18:14

@ItGhoul I think this discussion is so important so I'm just asking the same question I put to another poster.

If you love and care for someone and they ask you to stop doing something that they are telling you hurts them. Would you stop?

OP is sense checking here because I will hazard a guess that she is having strong feelings about this guy and her general treatment and is currently trying to manage sense of it. She is not over reacting to whatever feelings are bringing her here.

See my reply above. To be very blunt, I would probably fall out of love very quickly with someone who was offended by something like that, and would end the relationship.

My partner and I laugh and tease one another about each other’s quirks all the time and it’s one of the things I love most about our 20+ years together. I would be miserable in a relationship where I was walking on eggshells trying not to upset someone.

Wonderi · 21/02/2025 18:30

I’m not sure I would call it mocking.

But you don’t like it and you’ve told him that.

Tell him explicitly again that you don’t like it and if he does it again, then you’ll have no choice but to end the relationship because he’s not respecting your boundaries.

KimP85 · 21/02/2025 18:33

For me personally this wouldn't worry me especially if I did actually say " it's alright" a lot. Whenever I ask my husband what he wants to eat he always says "whatever you want babe" I laugh because even though I'm asking him the question I already know the answer, it doesn't bother him at all. If that's the only thing in your relationship where you feel disrespected then ask him to stop, maybe he doesn't know it offends you.

AgnesX · 21/02/2025 18:34

Judepol · 21/02/2025 17:13

It is just that but it really gets to me. In the beginning he went to do some banter that crossed the line and I called him out on it and he never did it again. The banter was a habit he got into about his ex who would call him derogatory names so he got into a habit of calling a name back. I can tell he gets hung up on her and I don’t know why as she was awful from what he tells me.

The mocking is getting to me.

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Sounds like he was equally awful and still is.

Is this the only way he's mocking as it sounds like he's swapped one thing for another.

Wishyouwerehere50 · 21/02/2025 18:40

ItGhoul · 21/02/2025 18:30

See my reply above. To be very blunt, I would probably fall out of love very quickly with someone who was offended by something like that, and would end the relationship.

My partner and I laugh and tease one another about each other’s quirks all the time and it’s one of the things I love most about our 20+ years together. I would be miserable in a relationship where I was walking on eggshells trying not to upset someone.

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I get the sense your relationship is probably mutual, more equal and it works. It definitely doesn't sound like the balance or the dynamic is good for OP.

Mocking is so very often hiding something much more. The fact OP is here and other points in her post say this isn't quite the same as what you experience in your relationship.

RedHelenB · 21/02/2025 20:52

PickAChew · 21/02/2025 18:18

Not wanting to be mocked is not controlling.

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It's a tiny thing and yes it is

theboffinsarecoming · 22/02/2025 09:42

Tulipsandaffodils · 21/02/2025 17:50

Goodness this is extreme really given what she’s said this one issue is.

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It isn't that extreme. He keeps on mocking her, despite her repeatedly asking him to stop doing it, and the behaviour is having a considerable effect on the OP's self esteem.

That is not a healthy relationship dynamic.

INeedAnotherName · 22/02/2025 10:16

RedHelenB · 21/02/2025 20:52

It's a tiny thing and yes it is

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Considering your post got deleted you might want to re-think your stance.

OP - would you consider changing your answer to see if he continues mocking you, as it might just be those two words that make him laugh rather than your general response?

ItGhoul · 22/02/2025 18:56

Wishyouwerehere50 · 21/02/2025 18:40

I get the sense your relationship is probably mutual, more equal and it works. It definitely doesn't sound like the balance or the dynamic is good for OP.

Mocking is so very often hiding something much more. The fact OP is here and other points in her post say this isn't quite the same as what you experience in your relationship.

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Which is why I said that she’s entitled to feel whatever she feels and to end the relationship if she isn’t happy.

DogRocket · 03/03/2025 11:46

Tbh I need more context bc right now it sounds like you’re overreacting. Maybe you’re not, I’m not there to hear his tone or how he’s ‘mocking’ you. Maybe he’s a jokey person and you’re not. Or maybe he really is being demeaning. How can any of us say without us actually being there to witness it. Either way, you don’t have to stay in a relationship you’re not happy in.

Original poster

Judepol · 03/03/2025 13:03

DogRocket · 03/03/2025 11:46

Tbh I need more context bc right now it sounds like you’re overreacting. Maybe you’re not, I’m not there to hear his tone or how he’s ‘mocking’ you. Maybe he’s a jokey person and you’re not. Or maybe he really is being demeaning. How can any of us say without us actually being there to witness it. Either way, you don’t have to stay in a relationship you’re not happy in.

What’s the point responding to a problem that was from 22/02/2025 which is 10 days ago? I sorted it out with him.

OP posts:

Thelnebriati · 03/03/2025 13:09

Is there an acceptable way to mock someone, using the correct tone? I don't think so. If you put a stop to him mocking you he'll find some other way to continually tell you that you are beneath him.

Its not normal to need to keep someone around to bully and feel superior to. Its not something normal people do. Say that to him, if you feel safe enough.