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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating a shift worker can 2days off/on work ?

2 replies

Greeneggspam · 21/02/2025 11:08

Opinions greatly received please …anyone else been in a similar situation??
so background info ..I’ve been with my lovely DP (who says it’s us forever ) for 2 years now ..first year was amazing like they are .. second year a tricky one.
When I met him he used to live a few doors from his ex wife near the old martial home & their 14 year old DD.
He was seeing the DD every other weekend .
.DP ex wife recently moved & he has moved further away from me to live around the corner from his ex wife’s place again . But no longer having his DD every other weekend ..just occasionally now .
He is now taking on a new job at b the same company an hour away from where he lives now . Going from 4days on /off to 2 days on/off no night shifts btw .
Do u need to take the hint ? Or am I overthinking this ?
Since he’s moved he hasn’t had me visit his area at all .always stays at mine .
How can what’s now become a long distance relationship work especially if he’s to work the new shift pattern regarding our quality time spent together? And importantly making time for his lovely DD as well ?
I get the impression that he is cock blocking the ex …maybe he does still secretly want her even though he tells me he hates her !
They still haven’t sorted a financial order out since the divorce 3 years ago as he’s openly admitted to me that he is waiting for her to inherit more money first !
I really thought we had something special .. it’s like the relationship is going backwards 🥲

OP posts:
Lostworlds · 21/02/2025 11:35

I think this is probably the chat you’ll need to have with him. I think it’s great he’s moved to remain close to his dd and the change of shifts helps if wanting to do things at night. However, if you feel this has had a negative impact on your relationship then chat to him gently and ask where he sees the future going for you two.

outerspacepotato · 21/02/2025 13:55

He's made multiple big life changes without your input. He moved further away. He switched jobs. Not having you over to his place since the move and only coming to you is a big deal.

I think that tells you where you rank in the scheme of things.

Also, any guy that holds up financials in hopes of getting part of an ex's inheritance is an entitled prick.

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