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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU?

5 replies

Poppyfield15 · 20/02/2025 21:26

Boyfriend of a few years and I are going through some serious relationship stuff (due to his lies). Every time we speak I can't help but end up asking deep questions about his intentions and the lies and it gets heavy and he gets frustrated, so I suggested that he pick one day a week were we can discuss the heavy stuff. This was last Friday. The day he chose was Thursday.

So I've been keeping things light and positive all week and reminded him yesterday that today was discussion day. He responded "oh I'm going to be really busy tomorrow ha ha"
I texted him at 11:30 saying I'm free for a call whenever he is. He usually calls around 1pm and didn't, so I called him at 1:30, no answer. Text from him at 2:30 saying "sorry, I'm up the wall" I responded "ok, call when free" He calls at 4:30 saying he can't really speak, just a quick hello and telling me how busy his day's been.
I texted after saying "call me when you're done. Been waiting all week, and now all day!"
Then he responds "no, I can see you're in a bad mood and we'll just argue. Tomorrow is better" !!! And I'm left hanging. I told him it would be a 5min phone call. He said he's worked 10hrs without a break and he's not in the mood. (To discuss an issue that has arisen from his lies)
I'm so disappointed. One of the things I'm trying to clarify is where I stand with him. But I feel like I know enough. Am I overreacting? It seems like a small thing, but I feel like don't want to speak to him again.

OP posts:
Poppyfield15 · 20/02/2025 21:28

I told him this was important to me.

OP posts:
BakedBeansforabrain · 20/02/2025 21:30

Poppyfield15 · 20/02/2025 21:28

I told him this was important to me.

You're obviously not important to him

Poppyfield15 · 20/02/2025 21:39

Right?! This is how I feel. In addition to him being a coward.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 20/02/2025 21:50

Do you think your long discussions will change anything? What work is he doing to change his lying? Therapy?

He's just putting you off because he doesn't want to hear you.

What are you going to do about that and your relationship issues?

MyrtleLion · 20/02/2025 21:54

He's shown you that you're not important and he doesn't want to talk about your relationship. Believe him.

Time to find someone worthy.

And I just saw that he's a liar.

Hs had.his chance to discuss it properly and he blew it. LTB.

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