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Should I swallow my pride and unblock him?

11 replies

j1996 · 20/02/2025 14:45

About a year ago I matched with this guy on a dating app and we started to bond so we decided to meet. After a few weeks of talking and having sex, he asked me how i felt about us getting attached to each other because he thought that it would be the normal thing to happen next if we continued like that. I said I was fine with it, he said he was fine with it, but soon I realized that he would never develop any feelings for me, as he would ghost me for days, which would make me fell kinda pissed off. I talked to him about how I felt about him ignoring me, he apologized and said he would be more careful about it, but didnt make any changes. Sometimes he would talk to me all day, other times he would disappear for days... So, I decided to keep my distance, stoped following him on IG, started meeting him way less than before and proceeded to go out on dates with other men. In the meantime, I met one guy that i really liked and ended up having sex with a couple of times. Sadly, the chemistry we have in the bedroom doesnt match the chemistry we have outside of it so we never had sex again, even though we still go out together untill this day (guess we became ''friends''). On the other hand, sex with the first guy is amazing and thats why I was keeping him around. However, after being with him for the last time, 2 months ago, I decided to try and see how it would be if I didnt have this man in my life, so I just blocked him and haven´t spoke with him since. Oh well, now I'm desperate to get la*d and I dont know if I should just swallow my pride and give him a call, take the risk and go out on dates to meet new people (which requires a lot of effort and I'm feeling kinda lazy) or just seat here in desperation and abstinence, for god knows how long....

OP posts:
Whosaidthathuh · 20/02/2025 14:48

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AttilaTheMeerkat · 20/02/2025 14:50

No do not call him again. How did you get to such a point in your life?. Love your own self for a change. Read Women who love too much by dr Robin Norwood.

3luckystars · 20/02/2025 14:51

That’s a great book, I would order it today.

TwistedWonder · 20/02/2025 14:52

Personally I’d get myself a few toys from Love Honey if I was that desperate for an orgasm rather than shag some useless twat who doesn’t even like you.

Ok it’s absolutely fine to have casual sex but at least find a man who doesn’t treat you like shit

Waterboatlass · 20/02/2025 14:55

I would move on and look for someone else. You and the first guy weren't compatible in your Comms styles and you won't feel good when that continues as FWB.

Xatz63 · 20/02/2025 14:59

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This

Ilovelurchers · 20/02/2025 15:03

I'm not quite clear on your feelings for the first guy - would you like a deeper relationship with him? Or are you happy just being FWB?

If the latter, then yeah, unblock him. It seems pretty clear that that is all he is offering, for whatever reasons.

But if you feel you would start getting upset and wanting more, then you need to keep him blocked, and explore other options.

I know what you mean - dating takes effort and it's easier to go back to someone we are familiar with. But that won't work if actually you are secretly wanting more, and all the time hoping he will change his perspective.

SporadicMincePieMuncher · 20/02/2025 15:10

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First post nails it

Tulipsandaffodils · 20/02/2025 15:20

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Yup.

j1996 · 21/02/2025 07:47

AttilaTheMeerkat · 20/02/2025 14:50

No do not call him again. How did you get to such a point in your life?. Love your own self for a change. Read Women who love too much by dr Robin Norwood.

Thank you, I[ll look into it

OP posts:
j1996 · 21/02/2025 08:22

Ilovelurchers · 20/02/2025 15:03

I'm not quite clear on your feelings for the first guy - would you like a deeper relationship with him? Or are you happy just being FWB?

If the latter, then yeah, unblock him. It seems pretty clear that that is all he is offering, for whatever reasons.

But if you feel you would start getting upset and wanting more, then you need to keep him blocked, and explore other options.

I know what you mean - dating takes effort and it's easier to go back to someone we are familiar with. But that won't work if actually you are secretly wanting more, and all the time hoping he will change his perspective.

I don´t have feelings for him and that is the issue: on one hand idk if i should just ignore the fact that i dont even like him that much (cause I really dont like being ghosted) and keep seeing him cause I really enjoy the sex or go make the effort to find someone new, go on dates, possible have bad sex, adding another person to my body count; and on the other hand, unblocking him makes me feel like a kid who was just throwing a tantrum, it hurts my pride the idea of unblocking him and texting him after two months

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