Anyone Been Told They Are Oversensitive?

[RabbitsRock]

Apparently I am, even though DH was definitely being a bit of a dick tonight. I think some of it is worry (he’s got form for keeping things in then they come out in other ways) as he has raised blood pressure & needs to see his GP. After we’d had words, I texted him to say that I was sensitive but it was part of me & him saying I was over sensitive invalidated my feelings. Basically he knew damn well he was reacting badly so put his behaviour onto me. He hasn’t replied but then I probably shouldn’t have texted as I have form for carrying things on instead of just letting the dust settle.

Yep! My ex said "you're unable to have a conversation without becoming emotional'. The funny thing is, I'm perfectly capable of not becoming emotional when talking to other people.
I was drowning under his emotional chaos. My bucket was full yet he kept adding to it, and expected me to just keep taking the blows. My life was exponentially harder with him in it. His stoic, calmness is almost terrifying, I'm sure he does it to prove a point.
These men don't change and unfortunately I think there are more of them about than ever. He's saying that to you so you start to doubt yourself and he gets to control the narrative.

It’s gaslighting. They are blaming you rather than owning their bad behaviour.

Perseimmion so what do I do with this? Is he likely to take on board what I said about my feelings being invalidated? He doesn’t accuse me of being over sensitive very often which is something at least. We hit a very bad patch about 10 years ago & DH used me as his emotional punchbag ( big money worries) but our relationship is generally so much healthier now.

IME anyone telling you that you’re over sensitive is usually woefully undersensitive.

Say ‘I’ll be the judge of that, dickhead’?

Frogponds that’s great!

Challenge him and tell him to own his bad behaviour.

Funny how certain emotions are seen as 'being too emotional' or overly sensitive, whereas other emotions are seen as normal reactions.
So crying is emotional, but getting defensive, feeling attacked, getting angry... That's not being emotional?

Maybe you could ask him if this is really the road he wants to take your relationship on. Are you really going to be that couple that decides whether the other's emotions are valid or justified, and only offers support when we agree with those emotions? Because that works both ways.