To feel suicidal after abuse

Purplesphere11 · 2025-02-19T17:10:10+00:00

I can't take it anymore. I want the pain gone. Recently discarded by my narcissistic ex and I just can't take the pain. I can't face life without him. I'm a mum and a grandmother and you'd think that would be enough. I can't go on without him. I'm fucking broken. Don't I know how to link to original post

northernlight20 · 19/02/2025 18:48

go to your gp and get help

Original poster

Purplesphere11 · 19/02/2025 19:08

northernlight20 · 19/02/2025 18:48

go to your gp and get help

They can't help me.

OP posts:

northernlight20 · 19/02/2025 19:18

oh right, well, as a mum and grandmum, you need to put them first. you are allowing this waste of a man to come before your family and im guessing they're picking up the pieces of the aftermath. sorry to be harsh, but you need to wake up and put your family first.

Gudinne · 19/02/2025 19:19

GP might be able to help. No harm in trying x

sprigatito · 19/02/2025 19:23

@Purplesphere11 they can help you. Feeling hopeless and believing there is no route back to happiness is part of the depression that has a stranglehold on your mind right now. You have been through hell, you are traumatised and depleted, but you have people in your life who love you. You love them too, even if you can't feel it at the moment. There is always hope. Human beings are fantastic at healing. You will look back on this time one day and feel proud that you came through it, but you have to take the first few steps in the dark. Go and see your GP and be honest about what you're going through. They will help you.

PumpkinSpicedLatte · 19/02/2025 19:24

You can get help. It’s never too late

Original poster

Purplesphere11 · 19/02/2025 19:26

northernlight20 · 19/02/2025 19:18

oh right, well, as a mum and grandmum, you need to put them first. you are allowing this waste of a man to come before your family and im guessing they're picking up the pieces of the aftermath. sorry to be harsh, but you need to wake up and put your family first.

Not to sound harsh but you clearly have never loved this. I'm no mard arse. I'm ruined

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Original poster

Purplesphere11 · 19/02/2025 19:27

sprigatito · 19/02/2025 19:23

@Purplesphere11 they can help you. Feeling hopeless and believing there is no route back to happiness is part of the depression that has a stranglehold on your mind right now. You have been through hell, you are traumatised and depleted, but you have people in your life who love you. You love them too, even if you can't feel it at the moment. There is always hope. Human beings are fantastic at healing. You will look back on this time one day and feel proud that you came through it, but you have to take the first few steps in the dark. Go and see your GP and be honest about what you're going through. They will help you.

Thank you so much for understanding. I need him so much

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northernlight20 · 19/02/2025 19:28

Purplesphere11 · 19/02/2025 19:26

Not to sound harsh but you clearly have never loved this. I'm no mard arse. I'm ruined

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this isnt love though, its a trauma bond. goodluck, hope you get the help you need.

Pigeonqueen · 19/02/2025 19:29

The only way you can get through this is time and the perspective and distance that time brings. Block him on everything. Completely cut him out of your life. You need to act and think like he’s dead. Honestly it’s the only way. In a year or so you’ll feel better about it all and it won’t hurt so much and in time you’ll realise you are better off without him.

candlesgalore · 19/02/2025 19:33

You will get through this, you need to take it one day at a time. People are right to suggest your GP, if the surgery know you are at risk they must act to support you. You could also contact Women’s Aid for support and advice as they specialise in supporting people through similar circumstances. Good luck, nobody can break you.

Original poster

Purplesphere11 · 19/02/2025 19:39

Thank you all
It's been too much. I've done about 20 or so dicards now. This has been 9 months. The longest without one. I'm done. He's tormenting me through email. It's whack a mole. I block one he makes one. Begs me to help him then ignores me. I can't do this. Each day is hell

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HalfArsedTerf · 19/02/2025 19:40

Exactly the same thing happened to me when I was 58. Losing him felt like my oxygen had been cut off. I felt gutted, empty, hopeless, pointless and could not envisage continuing with life without him...

But, you know what, as the days went by, I got a tiny weeny bit less devastated each day. It took a long time before I realised that I could live, and indeed thrive, without him. And I have.

I never thought back then that I would ever say this, but if he came crawling back to me right now, I'd tell him to piss off.

Original poster

Purplesphere11 · 19/02/2025 19:40

Aside from the fact I am triangulated with his estranged wife and her sister who he likes to have sex with. Jesus. I was once a ball breaker and I'm reduced to this

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Summerhillsquare · 19/02/2025 20:33

Distraction all the way. Step away from the computer, mute your email. Then get busy. Fresh air, decorate the lounge, take on more work, invite everyone you know for a coffee, whatever. No booze and sleep as well as you can. Your subconscious will start the healing in the background. You can make it, you're a capable person.