Should I expect him to say ‘I love you’ after a year?

[Crateoflemsip]

Been with DP approaching a year. Met him online dating, so didn’t know him before that.we are both divorced with DC of our own.

we have a great relationship. We are both mid 40’s, we have similar outlooks on life and we are both happy together.

i know he cares deeply for me. But he has never said he loves me.

I’m in love with him, but have never said it because he isn’t very good at opening up and talking about emotions. The only time we do is when I bring it up and he says he cares deeply for me. I know this is true because he treats me so well.

I feel like I am the one who has moved the relationship along. ( though he is willing to follow). I guess I wanted him to be the one to say it first - given that I’m the one who usually has to say things first.

I don’t think we would have had a single chat about emotions if I hadn’t brought it up first

what do I do? Tell him how I feel ? Or wait until he is ready to say it?

and if he doesn’t, is it simply because he doesn’t feel that way?

I think I told my now DP of 20+ years I loved him first, about 5-6 months in. I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. I cannot remember if he said it back at the time, but it honestly doesn’t matter that much.I know he does.

I said it after 8 months, he said it a week later. Tbh after a year I would be questioning things - I wouldn't want to be investing more than that on a relationship with someone who didn't love me after a year.

That’s my feeling too.

I think there isn't anything you can do apart from talk to him OP.

Could he be waiting for you to say it first? Just like you're waiting for him?

I don't say it tbh.

My love language is physical touch and thoughtful gestures. I would be incompatible with a man who needed to hear the words 'I love you'.

I've been with my boyfriend just over 3 months & we've already said it to each other.

Life's too short not to tell someone how you feel & I figured even if he didn't say it back (which I was 99% sure he would) then he would at least be flattered 🤣

It was 3 months until my now dh said it to me and I said it straight back. I would not be hanging around for a year for someone to say it. Obviously if it was just a fling and I wasn't seeing a long term future with them then I wouldn't care but if I was viewing him as "the one ", I.most certainly would!

I think the important question is "Do you feel loved?"

I told DP I loved her about 3 months in and she freaked right out. Prior to me she'd been in a really crap relationship where she'd nearly got married to an absolute arse, and she'd felt completely trapped for a long time.

As a result she felt understandably scared of commitment, so it took her over a year to say it back to me.

We'd had a really rough night with DD ( we had a kid 10 months into the relationship, long story ), so I'd gotten up with DD, let her sleep in and then brought her breakfast and coffee in bed. She finally felt able to say "I love you" and I just kissed her on the forehead and said "I know".

She said later that it annoyed her a bit because she'd said something huge for her and I treated it as nothing new. But it wasn't anything new, I'd known for months and months that she loved me, it was obvious. Anyone can say the words, it doesn't mean they're true. It's how the person makes you feel that matters.

Possibly- he can be quite slow to talk about feelings, even though he is very loving in his actions

Ask him - if he's not good at talking about emotions this might give him an in. If he says anything wishy washy like 'I care for you' or 'I think so', you have your answer - after a year, if he doesn't or if he's so emotionally repressed can't love you ...it's not going to happen.