I have two sets of in-laws, one set is lovely. The other set is quite difficult. Have posted before about them, and we tend to keep them at a polite distance which minimises the chance of upset.
I had a baby a couple of weeks ago. Within a few hours baby was taken ill and rushed to NICU, where they needed an operation. Horrendously stressful as you can imagine. I also suffered a nasty birth injury and lost too much blood which has left me feeling very weak and fragile.
We told our parents and siblings when baby was born but not extended family - neither of us have a close relationship with our aunts/ uncles/ cousins due to living far away. We only see our extended families for weddings & funerals, and it just wasn’t a priority with what was happening.
A few days ago DP announced the baby had arrived on social media. For clarity, this would be the first both extended families heard of our news.
Within 20 mins of the post being made DPs Dad started sending us messages that he himself wanted to tell his side of the family before we announced the birth. That we had been disrespectful by not telling family first. How disappointed he is that we’ve rated ‘Facebook friends’ (actual friends who we see regularly?!) the same as FILs family. Other snarky digs that we hadn’t sent enough photos to DPs brother (who incidentally isn’t interested in our DC anyway, has never sent a card for e.g.). Lots of manipulative language like ‘we know where we stand’. DP replied simply ‘it’s our news to share’ but that didn’t deter FIL.
None of the aunts/ cousins concerned have an issue with our announcement and have added their well wishes to the post.
I’m just so tired of the in-laws taking the shine off every happy moment. The impulsivity of firing into DP within 20 mins of the post, no time to contemplate or perhaps give us some Grace given what the last couple of weeks have thrown at us.
What should we do next? I’m still feeling unwell and haven’t got the usual resilience to deal with them. Now in a stalemate and I know the next line of attack will be that they haven’t met the baby yet. DP is in no hurry and honestly neither am I now, knowing the criticisms will continue in person.