What’s wrong with me

[Felic23]

I’m a single parent age 39 with a 16 yr old son. I’ve been old for a while and find most men immature and a waste of time! I decided to go on a date with an older guy- he was early 50’s. From the get go he has been genuine, honest and been pretty much everything I’ve been looking for.

We spoke for a while and last night had our second date, he makes effort, listens and remembers what I say and in a round about way has said he would be happy to in time help with my Son who is going through some issues with no male role models.

This man has noticed all my good traits and I just can’t explain how decent and great he has been which is refreshing after the rest of the guys I’ve met.

The issue is I feel nothing towards him at all, I’ve had to me honest and tell him this evening I don’t want to continue things- he was understanding and fine with it although I know he really liked me.

Im just so upset with myself for not liking him, men like him don’t come around often/ever.

I just couldn’t force and feel so upset about it.

Nothing is wrong with you, you just didn’t click.

@KaleQueen yes I guess, such a shame. Just wonder if I just don’t feel attracted to decent men 😕

Maybe stick to guys around your age? I personally wouldn't fancy 15 years older!!

@Gymbunny2025 yes perhaps that didn’t help, he looked visibly a lot older than me!

If there's no chemistry on your part, then you can't force yourself to fancy him. He might be a wonderful, kind man, but you can't date someone you're not attracted too. You did the right thing. It's better you go your separate ways.

Yeah, I wouldn't fancy a man so much older either. Had the shock of my life recently when I realised one was, in all seriousness, trying to chat me up stone cold sober in broad daylight, as if we were a natural pair. Made me feel bloody old.

@Sassybooklover I was reading things about relationships and that attraction can grow in time ect but he was so clearly into me and I wasn’t excited about the thought of a third date so that was that. Just doubting weather I can find the whole package! But it’s true there has to be an element of attraction and the only thing I was attracted too was his good traits

There is nothing wrong with you.
I would give it more than 2 dates though.. sometimes attraction/chemistry/whatever isn't instant. We live in a world where everything is instant/quick/immediate!
Friendships don't always happen instantly (sometimes they do,) so why does a romantic relationship have to? There's alot to be said for taking your time, getting to know someone. You can even be friends before lovers! Don't put any pressure on yourself or on your dates.. enjoy the process!