Should I be suspicious? I am really

[BlondeStreaks]

Thought my husband was getting overly friendly at our child’s club.

The club meets regularly, we usually go together, but sometimes we don’t.

A few occasions I noticed this woman talking quite a lot to my husband, well that’s ok.

Another time, he walked off, when we had been talking, for a better view, soon talking to her again.

On occasions when he wasn’t there, she was friendly enough to me.

But several times, I’ve thought her very happy to see him, and him her, more than any normal friendly parents who attend

Visited hobby with elder son, and he though something was off, when we all walked through a door together, and husband didn’t follow, and there they were, both grinning and chatting away, ignoring the rest of us, who’d he been with, and who were waiting for him

So I said something to him, in the week, as did our eldest, and it’s all in my imagination, there is nothing going on.

Lots of assurances, bordering on I’m imagining it all.

So yesterday we are at the club again, and they don’t say a word, or even look in each other’s direction. Nothing the whole evening.

I overheard some mention of a boyfriend, she was talking to her friends about, who she speaks to regularly, apparently, but who she has never mentioned to her close friends before?

It did occur to me, this could be my husband

I can’t ever find anything out, unless he or she comes clean. his phone is ultra locked down, and never leaves his side, ever.
Even the pings are switched off, as I asked who was messaging him…. Just game or news alerts, nothing else.

I don’t think I’m imagining it, but will not be able to find out really.

Today I thought was really telling, due to them not speaking. They can only have decided that, by speaking secretly, as I suspect.

Trust your gut and ask him outright to see his phone. His answer will be telling. Dont try to be the "cool " wife it never works just be honest. You could always ask for paper versions of his phone bills

Trust your gut on this one. It's such a horrible feeling isn't it? He will never show you his phone so don't even bother with that one. If he ever does show it then it's because he's bought a different one to use with her. I found that I started to detach when I was in your position.

I think by now as she's already asked all evidence will have been destroyed.

As others have said, trust yourself.

That weird feeling of 'something's off here' is rarely wrong. I'd get a gut punch from the sudden coldness too.

I think you need to just have it out with him. Don't let him gaslight you that his behaviour with OW was totally normal tonight. Anyone with half a brain would see it's not, and work out that they'd been in contact. It's had the reverse effect to what he wanted.

Urgh. Sorry OP.

If you do talk to him about this, make sure you tell him that everybody has noticed. That way he can't tell you that you are crazy.

Trust your gut. Even your child knows something isn’t right.

It’s made all the more suspicious by them suddenly going silent.

Does he spend much time away from the house outside of working?

Private detective. Shouldn't take them long to find out if he's meeting up with her.

Whether he is cheating on you or not, it’s irrelevant now, you don’t trust him, you will always question him, so you might as well call it quits now.

@BlondeStreaks has he always been so secretive with his phone? I personally find it odd to never borrow your partners phone or to not know the PIN code but I appreciate everyone is different. Do the kids never borrow it to play a game or watch you tube?If he’s become more possessive of it then that is concerning. Yes his behaviour is odd but it is hard for someone to prove their innocence. You could ask to look at his phone - either he’ll hand it over and you’ll find nothing (either because there was nothing to find or he deleted things) or he’ll refuse and insist that you have to trust him (which again doesn’t prove guilt either way because he may genuinely be upset you don’t trust him burning his shoes I’d be doing all I could to reassure you).
There’s no easy answer, live in ignorance and forget about it, push for the truth and either damage your marriage if you’re wrong and blow it up if you’re right. I couldn’t live with the uncertainty and possibly would go with a PI if I was that certain something was going on.

Thanks all stuff to consider.
Ample opportunity to contact her, by phone, some very little time to see her seperately, at club if I’m not there, or possibly briefly on a morning.
And he was longer than usual today. Could have been time spent on a phone call. As couldn’t speak I person, last time they were together.

Its so much to deal with.

What’s your relationship like in general?

I would be wary of an emotional affair at the very least.

I once unknowingly got into one. This man would text me 100s from morning until night until I ended up finding out he had a partner. He had been texting me while he was with her, on holidays together, all day while at work.

The secrecy around his phone and their obvious decision to back off makes me think they’re communicating outside of the club.

Trust your gut on this one.

I also would take the approach of getting her to do the research like poster upthread suggested. I did that with my 12 almost 13 yr old for Christmas, I didn't get exactly what she linked to (I asked for inspiration not a shopping list!) but I got a good understanding of what she likes. At that age I'd not buy anything without their input unless you're sure of their style and preferences.