I started dating this lovely man after getting out of some pretty toxic situations. This man was nice, and I helped him find a job at my company when he really needed it, later he got 2 of his friends on the job at the company too.
Soon I switched companies and although we lived a little far from each other we would plan regular dates. At some point my personal life got a bit too hectic, I was going through some health challenges while trying to manage my studies and employment. And not too long after my dad suffered a stroke. I was shocked really although I never expressed it as much. I'm always thankful to God that dad is okay and didn't have too bad of a recovery.
I had a lot of responsibilities. Upcoming exams too. Even with this I made sure to put my all into this connection and not neglecting it. I just somewhere deep down felt he was such a good person and everything I did was from the bottom of my heart. Whether it's to do with work, general suggestions, or just being there for him.
He didn't ask for any of it. But I wanted to invest my energy. Somewhere down the line I just felt he would never prioritize me. It felt a bit selfish. Although I didn't expect anything from him. Especially at a particularly difficult time in life I felt very neglected and isolated. I thought to myself no matter how hectic my day goes I always put an effort to message at the very least everyday. I did not sense the same sort of energy from him really. It's true that he was also having a hectic time managing his work and studies away from family.
In the end I was the one who decided to walk away. When your life is going well you can give to others endlessly. But when all your energy has been sucked out of you and no one is there to recharge you and uplift your spirits, it's truly demoralizing, and you are no longer capable of providing that same energy.
I was confident about my decision. A few months in I felt really guilty. I unblocked him and apologized for leaving with no notice or closure. Because he was genuinely nice person. He says he really missed me and wants to meet up. No idea if he means as friends or more. I would always be happy to be his friend, but maybe more wouldn't be a great idea.
Sometimes we do end up meeting genuinely nice people. Seemingly ones who did nothing wrong. But still we can end up feeling so suffocated. For me, it just felt like he was there mostly when he needed something or a suggestion. And that is exactly what he told me when we spoke again - 'missed you more then anything. Missed the way you used to call me, you were the only one who understood me and you motivated me and praised me all the time'.
Did I do the right thing? I have no idea. Maybe I did. Or maybe I didn't give him a fair chance. I trusted my gut.