Not sure what to do next…

[Lovehascomeandgone]

Been married 7 years and have one child who is autistic. Came back one day to DH saying he was moving out and had mental health problems, didn’t know what he wanted. He has rented a flat nearby because he doesn’t want to be far away. He lost his mum a year plus ago and says he is depressed and not sure he wants to live anymore. I don’t know where I go from here. He is all over the place, not the man I married. I just don’t get it, he adored me and his child. Now he can’t cope. Anyone had a similar situation? Any advice?

I’m afraid my ex fiancé said this when he moved out when I was 4 months pregnant with our 2nd DC. Then after she was born, he came clean he had been having an affair all along. Everyone kept telling me men don’t leave unless they have a plan B and I never listened because I didn’t believe he was capable of it but I was wrong.

I’m not trying to scare you or accuse your DH of an affair at all, but just remember you don’t always know someone as well as you think and I would rule it out if you can before moving forward.

What do YOU want? Decide how you want your future to look and start planning it. Remember you can only control your actions and not his.

If you want him back then discuss marriage counselling for both, GP for depression for him. If he's willing then you have a chance at that particular future, if he's not then what is your plan B future and what steps do you need to take?

Whatever you do - do not let him lead you into misery. Decide what YOU want, decide how YOU will do it, then YOU make it happen. He either falls into step by your side or he gets left behind. Any threats of self harm tell him you will ask the police to do welfare checks and follow through with the call.

@AutumnFroglets excellent advice. Thank you very much.

@Lmnop22 I know what you mean. There is no inkling of anything and he barely ever went out, struggling to see where he would have been able to have an affair given he is always home. It’s bizarre all around.

My ex husband never went out. He was having an affair with someone from work. Absolutely no inkling whatsoever.

I posted on here at the time and everyone said there would be an OW. I just didn't see how it was possible. But they were right.

My advice would be to proceed as though you're going to discover something. Don't get drawn into worrying about him, his MH and trying to support him. Focus on yourself and your child. He already knows what is really.going on. You only know what he has told you.

@GreyCarpet good advice, thank you and yes you are right, I don’t know what I don’t know. I am looking after little one and myself, putting us first. I’m sorting our house out and decluttering, including giving him all the crap he left behind. I’m taking steps to move forward.