How to best support partner having a breakdown ?

[Howtosupportpartner]

Taken time off and will be off for another 3 weeks (more if needed), making sure all appointments are attended (she can’t cope with public transport and doesn’t drive so I’m taking her to everything). Taken over all cooking / school
runs etc.

What else can I do that will be helpful and supportive ?

Just be available if she needs you. Reassure her that you love her and be patient. You don’t need to fix this, leave that to the professionals but just be a safe place for her and support her. That’s it. You don’t need to have the solution or the right words. Listen when she talks without trying to fix it or solve it. Ask HER what she needs or if you can do anything for her. Let her tell you what she needs when she needs it. Just love her unconditionally and make sure you have support too. You need support so you are strong enough to support her and the kids.

I want to be helpful but not patronising I’m overthinking everything I’m doing as don’t want to upset her. Even things like reminding about medication because I’ve noticed how her memory seems to have deteriorated a huge amount since this all started and I want be helpful and make sure she remembers things and she hasn’t said anything at all she seems fine about me reminding her or taking her a glass of water to take tablets but I’m worried I’m coming across as patronising

Well, if she hasn’t said anything then I think you’re alright. She’s probably glad that you’re on it and it’s one less thing she has to worry about. I know this is a very difficult time but try to just take each day as it comes and just be there. Keep taking the medication to her because she probably will forget if she’s taken it or not. You’re being responsible not patronising. I think you should have a look at the mind website and give the helpline a call if you would like some further advice about how best to support your wife and also find out what help is available in your area.

www.mind.org.uk

You sounds amazing 🤩 ask her if she would like help With remembering to take tablets etc , ask in casual kinda of way like when she asks for water. Just remember to look after yourself too!

Can she have an alarm for meds on her phone? It's great you are helping her but she doesn't want to become too reliant on you or you'll find it hard to go back to work. Hope she's in a better place soon.

I thought about this but she’s became easily startled which then triggers off intense crying so I was keen to avoid it , she’s been having trouble sleeping a well so if she falls asleep during the day I worry about disturbing that with an alarm as they are quite loud

Well done OP for being so supportive.

Usually it takes at least a couple of weeks for medication like anti-depressants to start working and for improvement to be felt.

Has your partner's GP also referred her for counselling? that would be another good step to take.

The Mind website has a good forum where people share their progress and struggles and she might find that helpful. Your local Mind office might also be running counselling sessions that are usually quicker to access than the NHS ones.

Oh poor thing, that makes sense, plenty of time for alarms etc later.

Have you got a day/time box (sometimes called a dossett box) for the meds? There’s all sorts of designs now - loads on Amazon. Maybe start the use of the box by helping with reminders but build towards her being able to use the box. I’m sure the docs have told you but hopefully the meds will settle down.