Want to divorce my husband but no friends or family

[Deedr]

I have been in a loveless marriage for 26 long years. Over the years my husband has turned my 24 year old sons against me. They both talk disrespectfully to me and dismiss everything I say. We now have my so sons girlfriend living with us and all three gang up on me.
my house is so messy with all three of them doing nothing. Whenever I ask for help I am told I’m overreacting and my husband will openly disagree with me in front of them which only makes it worse.

Carry on looking for somewhere to rent. Will it be tough on your own? Most probably, BUT you will have no one to clear up after, no one disrespecting you and you will be amazed how content that alone will make you.

Far better to be on your own than in an unhealthy dynamic. I hope you and your furry friend find somewhere new quickly and you can move on. Life is too short.

@Deedr massive hugs.

I would start making plans but tell them nothing. I wouldn’t tell them anything and one day I just wouldn’t return home.

start going out in the evenings and finding a dog walking buddy club, a hobby or a volunteering opportunity.

stop doing anything for them.

start putting some money on shop loyalty cards each week or as often as possible as part of the normal weekly shop so you can stock cupboards with the basics when you move and it spreads the cost.

ask folks at work if they know of any housing opportunities coming up - flats etc. even if it’s short term.

Look at getting mail redirected foe a few months until you can get all addresses changed.

change any wills and pension beneficiaries.

start looking at any electronic accounts they can access that are in your name. Look at changing passwords.

any joint accounts or shared money/assets that need considering?

House share, rent a room... don't rule anything out, you need to get out of your current situation. Consult a solicitor to see what you might be entitled to from joint savings/ pension etc that might work as a deposit.

In the meantime stop providing any more unpaid labour, sort your own food, laundry and life admin, look after you and your pet... let the rest of them fend for themselves.

Go! It's just you, so you only need a one bed flat.
Your energy and motivation is being sucked from you by your situation. Once you're out you'll be able to go for walks with other dog owners, join clubs.
And 58 and have friends but am always on the lookout for more. Don't get buried. Sounds awful.
Sounds like leaving will leave your nasty DH in the poo too rent wise, with one less income.

What a brilliant idea, so simple but will be so handy come the time u need to stock those new cupboards and get that new place all spic and span for the new you moving in!!!!
Girl u can do this, we woman do it every single day. Just plan and plan. And save as much money as u can. Get some
Credit sorted for emergencies. Start packing little important things to u, but mostly just get organised with somewhere to go and don't look back, u are being treated as a slave to the ungrateful shits u call family. No more hun, don't tell any of them, don't give any clues, just go. And don't look back.

Just a small amount of savings, nothing to rave about. Further afield probably be better but have not to be too far from work really. I am secretly looking for places. Dreaming of a peaceful life with my doggy. Just a small one bedroom would be great. Didn’t realise just how bloody expensive they are. Would love to buy in Spain but that would mean staying here in this relationship so I can save, places very cheap if you are prepared to do the work

Have you thought of asking for a room through work, just for a few months to help you get organised?
It can get you out of there quickly without big deposits.
Start quietly gathering any paperwork and sentimental bits, passport etc.
Get them out of the house.
Maybe a few colleagues would take a few boxes for you?
Talk to your boss, might they help you?
Do work have support for domestic abuse victims?
Ask, because you are being bullied, abused and used by them.

Agree with @DelphiniumBlue they are bullying you.
I’d go to CAB for a chat about finances and what help might be available.
…and maybe your local council for Housing advice too.
i think you need to get away from these horrible people and find a peaceful life away from them .

I just want to say thank you for everyone’s advice. I feel more confident even though life is getting tougher at home but I now know I can do this

I agree with other posters. You deserve so much better than this, please please please spread your wings and find some happiness for yourself. Line up your escape plan and go xxx

Definitely talk to work.
My friend was telling me about a colleague of hers who was in a bad situation and asked work and colleagues for help.

As it happened her mother was visiting her brother in Australia for 3 months and her home was empty.
Her mother is lovely and my friend liked this colleague.
Her mother okayed her moving in for a few weeks to help out.
She told her it was okay to be there when she got back.
She ended up staying 6 months as they got on so well and she got a little flat for herself.
Ask around you really never know who would have a room and would be up for a lodging arrangement for a few months.

We are here for you.