Child contact advice

[MarshmallowFluf]

My children’s father would like to have contact with them again 2 years no contact, what is the best way to go about this as I’m not sure how best to start it again? I would need to be there at first but how long for? Where should they meet? He tried to invite them to the cinema but I don’t think that’s right for a first meet as can't really talk. I told him I want them to build up contact again slowly with them on the phone first with the older ones? what should I tell my younger child as she doesn’t really remember him. Has anyone been in this situation reintroducing contact with the father after a few years? how did it go and how did you restart it?

You need to talk to the older ones and accept their reply if they say not interested. Legally 11/12 is considered old enough to decide how much contact to have with each parent so if you insist they meet when child doesn’t want to, then you could damage your relationship with the older child.

The comment about the bed is a red flag that he knows nothing about children. I would be wary that the reality of having the kids will have him disappear again. There’s a shocking number of men on here who can’t cope with looking after more than one of their kids at a time and have wives defending them.

yanbu to build up contact slowly and have him prove his consistency.

Yeah...based on your updates there's no way I'd say OK to him. He can pursue legal avenues if he wishes.

Hasn't even bothered to get a job to pay for his own kids. 'He doesn't work' - what if you didn't work? Would the kids have to starve? Why is it down to women to pick up mens slack?

Somethings changed that means he needs contact. Maybe a woman he's seeing has found out he has kids even though he didn't mean her too. Maybe he's got a job or coming into money and worried youll chase for backdated child support. As you should.

If you're going to entertain contact, tell him he needs to pay child support through the official cms channels. Betting he'll vanish again.

It's not a good thing to let toxic people near children. 'No dad' is better than a shit one who abandons his kids and only shows up when he wants something.

Listen close to what he says, he'll give away what it is he is after. No way would I let my 7 year old do overnights with him btw.