AIBU? Time as a parent

[Loupyloula98765]

DP announced this week that he wants to start a playing for a football team on a Sunday but "won't play every week". Fast forward to today and I ask to confirm whether he's planning to play every week and suddenly the goal post has changed and he said he might be.

Context around the rest of our family life -we have a small child at home, both of us work full time but due to his travel time he's out of the house from 6am until 6.30pm so the lions share of childcare/chores mid week is done by me.

Mid week he has a hobby he does on Tuesday evenings, and he works late Wednesday evenings so is home around 8pm.

Weekends he tends to work at least 2 of them per month.

AIBU to be feeling frustrated about his announcement, which will mean he's out from roughly 9am until 1pm every Sunday too?

@JimHalpertsWife this week he went straight from the late finish at work to the training session. (He didn't do the Tuesday hobby this week)

@Ddakji hopefully not! The promotion would mean he moves to a salaried role rather than hourly pay. I think most of the people in the more senior role no longer do the weekend work unless absolutely unavoidable as effectively they wouldn't be paid for it

Ok so if the weekend work is paid hourly, then could he just drop it?

Is he ever around to do any parenting or housework!?!

@namechanges123 barely haha, we get 45 mins in the evening (he watches LO in the bath and gets her pjs on, and leaves all the dirty laundry dotted around the bedroom, toys in the tub, wet bath mat on the floor etc) 🫠🙄 guess who cleans that up

Yep, that's what I thought. He's taking the piss. He's doing almost nothing already and is adding yet more days to his 'days off'.

Are you sure he's working so much? A man in my workplace was disappearing a few hours early from work every day while his wife was at work. She was picking up their 3 year old from nursery on the way home at 5.30. He was just enjoying some me time. He was a lazy bastard. I don't much like the sound of yours either. It's good that you have some ideas for looking after yourself. Do not pander to the sulking. He's taking the piss and he knows it.

YANBU- explain in layman’s terms how much time he spends out the house and Inform him from now on you are having every Thursday evening off- so leave the house even if you just go for coffee alone and all day Saturday I’m sure he will soon change his mind

I’d take him at his word then. “Good idea DH. It’s best to wait until DD is older.”

How old is he BTW?

@bigboykitty I do suspect he takes his time getting home sometimes, stops off at costa or Mcdonald and such on the way buy he does work until the time he says as LO will often FT call him towards the end of the day.

@TwinklyRoseTurtle I think you're right that I need to start carving my own time out. I'm also planning to have a discussion about how he does his "share" of the parenting. I really shouldn't have to put laundry in the basket or tidy the bathroom after he's done bathtime when it's the only task he does.

@MinnieMountain we are both mid 30s

Good idea, because he is really taking the piss and unless he wants his DD to grow up with him a stranger to her, he’s better pull his finger out, and for her sake you need to not worry about being a nagging wife or whatever and put it to him plainly.

Do you have a patio at all, @Loupyloula98765 ? Would you like some help to lay one? 😘