Anyone from Zambia/Africa who can help me with this term?

[OneHardyMintZebra]

Hi, so my friends boyfriend has his ex saved in his phone as something he says means ‘baby momma’. My friend can’t remember exactly but thinks it said maleh or malek possibly. I’ve googled and it says that means Angel or sent from god so she’s obviously now fuming! Especially as she asked him why she was saved as that and his response was ‘well what do you want me to save her as, Angel…. , love of my life?’ ironic! I’m really hoping I’ve not just made things worse:
So does anyone know what term someone from Africa would use to refer to their ex as baby momma (in a negative way from what I’ve gathered) he’s originally from Zambia if that helps

Her initial thoughts were why save as ‘baby momma’ as he stated it was in a negative way which she thought was a weird thing to do. I don’t think that’s psycho behaviour just to ask him one question. Although yes she has then mentioned it to me and I’m the one who’s made it worse then actually!
But tbf I wouldn’t be happy if my partner had his ex saved as ‘Angel’ either. Maybe that makes me immature as well. But I think that’s disrespectful.

If she is choosing to date someone from another culture, she has to realise there will be terms she won't understand.

I live in Africa and get called all sorts of things
Angel, Queen, Gogo, etc.

In some cultures elders and people in a position of respect are not called by their actual name. But slang and other terms. If I am out and a younger African person addresses me, mostly they will call me Mummy. The woman who bore a man's child will usually always be held in respect.

I hope she is listening to understand the culture differences here.

I don’t disagree that he should respect his ex. She is the mother of his children.
But then why say she was saved as something that he is stating is a negative term if that’s not the case? Or if it is the case then that doesn’t show her much respect at all.

Anyway I’ll tell her I wrong and it’s up to them to sort things!

What Zambian language does he speak if any? There are a good number. In one of them, the word he said may mean what he said it does or something related. You seem to have looked up an Arabic loanword such as Malaika. This means angel and is a well used name and endearment

Many African (and other) words contain Arabic loanwords but that may not have been it.

I'm afraid you've gone in half cocked here interfering. You didn't know what was actually said so should have stayed out of it. Your friend needs to make her own mind up and decide whether she trusts her partner.

African languages not words

Perhaps he told her the lie because he know’s she will kick off!!

As he was going to get a hard time otherwise?

Without asking my friend (which I can do later) I don’t know which language he speaks. He is definitely fluent in an African language (I presumed Zambia as that’s where he lived).

Maybe he has lied as he knew she wouldn’t be happy. I wouldn’t say that’s healthy and if it was me I’d be annoyed if my partner had his ex saved as anything in another language and lied about what it meant regardless of what that was. For all we know it’s little white lies that are making her insecure. Bit unfair to suggest that it’s all her issues. But agree the relationship doesn’t sound great

The fact this is creating such drama suggests it’s not a great relationship. How long have they been together?

Also Hebrew.

About a year and a half

Malak is Quaranic Arabic for angel and is also loaned to Swahili as malaika. Swahili is fairly widely spoken in Zambia and is in wide use across central, eastern and southern Africa, linguistically borders are not as important and Bantu and Arabic words are used widely.

Malek is a male name (usually! I've known a few female Maleks) and means king or leader.

So if it was Malak then potentially that does mean Angel.
I know the majority think that is insignificant and if it’s a culture thing then I’m probably just being ignorant and not understanding. But I do feel that’s strange. But I’ll stay out of it!

Isn’t it healthier that their relationship broke down in such a way that they have mutual respect and he just didn’t bother changing her name on his phone? There is not reason he has to hate her and he clearly feels under pressure from you friend to show he does.

if she wants a long term relationship with him she needs to accept that they are no longer together but will always be in each others lives due to their shared children

Sounds like she’s worried they’re still carrying on a relationship.
She ignore her intuition and just keep watchful.

Africa is a huge continent with a lot of linguistic diversity. That said, it’s more than likely whatever he called her when they were together because he will have imported his contacts.

My last serious ex before I met Dh (of 17 years) I called Princess. It was a joke that I couldn’t even tell you the origins of 25 years later. He called me something equally weird. I actually didn’t keep my contacts from my old phone as I moved countries a lot before I settled here, but if I had, and we do still keep in touch but via Facebook, no doubt he would still be in my phone as Princess. Not for any reason other than that’s what I called him. 😂 Wouldn’t mean anything.

I certainly wouldn’t be wanting to be with a man who had his baby mama saved as ‘Ugly Fat Cow’ or something equally vile in his phone.

This.

Your friend doesn’t sound very nice (or mature).

As I said she wasn’t happy in the beginning either when he told her that hence raising it. Otherwise I imagine she would have just left it.

I’m the one who has suggested it doesn’t mean that and others here think it could also mean Angel. I guess that’s worse for her in an insecurity way because if true then he lied, and purposefully has his ex saved as ‘Angel’.

The consensus seems to be that she shouldn’t be bothered by that. I certainly would be. And I’d question really whether you all would be perfectly fine if your partners ex rung them and that came up. That’s not a mistake 3 years on. It takes 2 seconds to change a name. I certainly don’t have my ex saved as any term of endearment. Particularly if it’s someone who you speak to regularly as you share children. It’s not like that would have been the first time she’s rung. I don’t think that’s about being mature and secure in your relationship to not be bothered. It’s disrespectful. But ultimately it’s up to each person what they want from a relationship. A lot of you clearly wouldn’t care. That doesn’t mean every woman who wouldn’t like it simply just being immature.

I wasn’t coming on here for you all to judge my friend, it was just a simple question.

I'm with @StormingNorman. He just won't have updated his contacts. I've been married 6 years and my husband still has me stored as First Name, Maiden Name (place where we met), in his. You've read way too deeply into this and caused a drama where none need have been created. And if your friend is reading this deeply about how contacts are stored, perhaps this relationship isn't right for her if she can't bring herself to trust him after such a short time.

In many African cultures the names mean particular things but sadly, it's very usual for individuals to feel they need to use its English translation when living in an English speaking country, eg ,,,,

Malkia
English Translation: Queen

Malaika
English Translation: Angel

Esperance
English Translation: Hope

Zuri
English Translation: Beautiful

With all respect, you don't know the man very well, and you don't know his language or culture at all(since you don't know which it is).

Perhaps Malaika or similar is her given name or regular nickname, or has a significance you don't understand. You shouldn't wade into someone else relationship assuming an equivalence with a British man calling a woman 'Angel'. A) you don't know this is happening b) if so, you don't know why.

It doesn't sound a great relationship for a number of reasons but I hope you'll reflect on your involvement.

I have a friend called Oyinkansola from Nigeria (obv a different part of Africa). She is known as Oyin to one and all. It means Honey. Literal and figurative meanings around honey and sweetness. She is bought lots of little gifts and birthday cards with honey bees, Winnie the Pooh on etc and is often called honeybee, honeybear etc. she has no kids yet but an ex may hypothetically still have her saved somewhere as something sweet. If you didn't know Yoruba, this would be a mystery. If you do, it would be clear why. Perhaps preferable to change her back to Oyin for disambiguation but it wouldn't be dodgy.

So this is a hypothetical example (well, the ex is) and your friend's partner may be shady as anything but I think it explains why you may want to leave your friend to make her own decisions now. You've made your point, haven't come up with anything concrete, anything else now is meddling. She either believes in him more broadly or doesn't. What he saves his ex's name as is a detail in the bigger picture and she shouldn't fixate on just that.