As per title, i think my husband is verbally abusive and controlling me but I feel like things have slowly step-by-step crept up on me and got worse so that at this stage I’m starting to doubt myself.
Sorry for long post but I feel I need to get this out and I’ve not felt I can talk to any of my family or friends as not sure of their reaction or what I want to do about it i.e. strongly considering leaving but don’t know where to start or what his reaction would be. Very grateful for any views/similar experience.
My husband and I have been together 12 years, married for 9 and have a wonderful 4 year old daughter. When we first met our relationship was amazing and I could not fault him but after we got married things slowly started to change, he started taking me for granted and whereas once he would make a big effort for birthdays/Christmas he started to say that he didn’t see the point in making a big deal of them, or getting gifts for each other anymore would actually act in such a way that it would bring me down and spoil any big occasion that you would otherwise look forward to.
He could also at times be very mean and verbally aggressive over the smallest thing which would leave me in tears but later not say sorry but instead tell me not to take it personally.
Fast forward a few years to when we had our daughter and he has not really helped at all in those early years but yet is critical of everything I do, if I try to explain my position of heaven forbid stand up for myself I am now met with a barrage of aggressive/verbal abuse (i.e. I’m an f@#king b&£ch or a useless piece of s$%t) and now all in front of our 4 year old. Most times I try to now walk away from him but he will follow me around the house to continue screaming at me. Last week my daughter witnessed another episode and whilst not fully understanding what is being said she started shouting and got very upset and crying herself.
I feel very trapped and controlled by him, I’m not allowed any social life, time with friends, he also hates my family and stops me spending time with them. I just feel mentally drained from always walking on eggshells to not provoke him and that life has no joy in it apart from my sweet daughter who is my absolute world.
Last night I made him a valentines meal and all he could do was criticise, which has left me feeling so deflated and low today!
I know I should probably leave him, if not for my own sake certainly for that of my daughter but he’s already said if I try to he would do everything he can to prevent me from ever seeing my daughter again and he/his family are wealthy so I’m absolutely terrified of this outcome as I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it. Really feel at breaking point.