Going for a holiday for a brother trip last minute

[Jackjones334]

So i have a new born with my partner of 10 year hes 3 months now and breast feeding and a daughter of 4 year old.

so my brother called me last week saying he got a holiday on a cruise for free all i need to pay was flights.

i told my partner they said yeah its ok no problem and that was that

few hour laster after i told my brother going away with him and paid for reneawal on passport fast track i received a text from my girlfriend saying it muggy and that shes always wanted to go to the holiday destination and that i was suppose to take her and the kids away this was true i was booking holiday for the family in end march beginning april to go egypt.

last few days have been argument about me going away and she saying she told me loads reason for not going the fact ill spend money that could be used for the family holiday and also that their a new born 3 months old and vary things

but now its annoying me as ive paid flight and passport cost me £600 plus. And she saying things like ill regret going away and 100% i aint going and its coming across controlling when i am looking after my family and providing i aint been away with my brother alone on holiday before so its about memories

and the fact i feel threaten that if i go away she will do somthing stupid not sure what but to say youll regret it can mean anything

like i want to go away no more then ever ive heard her argument but i dont think its valid and its getting worst she going to bed at 9pm to text me to argue when we are in the same house via text i just think its out hand and am going crazy or a bad person to want to go on holiday with my brother

like i am thinking to cancel the trip but then i am telling myself i will not be threaten then expect to pay for a family holiday .

like its making me question if i still love my partner and want to be with them after they have been acting this way then i got two beautiful children with my partner i dont want to not be their for them in their life its hard

am i bad for wanting to go away and leave my partner to take care of 4 year old and 3 months old

You shouldn’t be swanning off on holiday and leaving your partner with a 4 year old and a 3 month old whom she’s still breastfeeding. You have absolutely zero comprehension of how much bf takes out of you and to be also left to care for a newborn and a 4 year old on your own, whilst you have a jolly with your brother that’s cost you £600 that could’ve gone towards family finances! You’re taking the piss mate. I’d tell you not to come back tbh. Fucking men! Either completely clueless or don’t give a fuck because they’re selfish pricks.

I can't believe you actually think it's ok to go off on a cruise leaving your partner at home with a 3 month old baby and a 4 year old.
Do you actually know you are a parent with parental responsibilities or do think it's just down to women to be responsible for children?

Yeah you're totally in the wrong here.

I did talk to partner and I’m just ganna give a miss I still got our family holiday booked

but our 4 year old is at nursery 3 days a week and. My partner has a 4x4 car so she can get about and plus her sister can always stay over the house we have a 3 bed town house that I pay for fully like it’s not like she don’t have anything while I was planning to go away I would leave her with enough money to take care of the children.

its last min plus I work everyday 5 days week non stop I just need a break but then I know she feels the same I don’t want to be a bad partner and just run off.

im ganna chat later with her again cos it’s making the house a hostle environment

It’s not her sisters responsibility to help her look after YOUR children! Ffs! Oh you work do you and need a break? Diddums! It’s called being an adult. She works 24/7 raising the children and it sound like you don’t do much else but work 5 days. When does she get a break?

I can't believe you would consider for even a second taking a holiday when you have a wife and two very small children at home.

You either massibely underestimate the work and stress involved in looking after babies and small children, or you know it's hard but you don't care about what it would be like for her.

I fear you will have spoiled something in your realtionship forever, as she won't be able to forget that you were willing to swan off on a holiday and leave her doing all the work.

It isn't her sister's job to help look after YOUR children. You think you needed a holiday? Imagine how much your parter needs one - so much more than you do. How would you have felt if she's told you she was going on a cruise and leaving you to look after the children?

I fear you're going to blame your partner for missing out on this holiday, when you were at fault to even consider going.

I see this differently- you asked your partner first she agreed and then you booked flights and paid for a passport which cost £600 now your partner is asking you not to go, I actually think your partner is being unreasonable not an ideal situation but she agreed before you paid, could you compromise and take the 4 year old?

So many trolls around. I really don’t understand why they do it?

I don't think it was appropriate for him to have asked in the first place though. It shouldn't have even been a consideration. OP should have said to his brother no straight away, that it's not the right time.

The partner is allowed to change her mind. Maybe she said yes when she was having a good day, then had a challenging night or two and realised she wasn't going to be able to manage alone?

You have 2 small children, and a partner who is breastfeeding and you want to "make memories with your brother"

And she saying things like ill regret going away and 100% i aint going and its coming across controlling when i am looking after my family and providing i aint been away with my brother alone on holiday before so its about memories

and the fact i feel threaten that if i go away she will do somthing stupid not sure what but to say youll regret it can mean anything

What were you hoping to get as a response from a female lead talk site?

Better still, get your partner to post so we can advise her how to get the best from her split from you.

If this was other way round (f going on hols and m staying) the answers would be so different!!

You asked, she said yes. I think it's unreasonable to now say no.

This cannot be genuine

So, Mr JackJones, what made you decide to post a load of rubbish on MN today? Most men aren't bored on Saturdays.

Wind ‘em up, push the button and see ‘em go.
How could you OP. 😉😁.

I’ve seen If I can cancel the ticket £200 cancellation fee so at a loss already it’s wasn’t until 3rd march anyways but the fact I was going dubia and yes a cruise I think she felt like I abandoned her to go somewhere she always wanted to go like to me it’s a country yeah…. But not a dream location just a place you want to visit and tick the boxes tbh I was looking for some opinions on it as if you ask your friends they all have partner ino they don’t have issue going away but ino when baby new born or young much harder for the partner to get by but it’s annoying cos I actually sat down had the chat was all good then to text and say I am the muggy one for accepting the invite instead of saying na bro I got new born and I going away to Egypt like I was suppose to book Egypt it’s not off the table but I’ve got a trip for may to Holland like it’s not cheap paying for the holiday paying to live in London….. it’s not end world can take loss and go away in 3 months 6 months maybe it’s not right for me to consider going away while 3 months so when can I travel without the family and uno I was ganna do extra 3 days to go look around dubia for offices and stuff business opportunities or investment wasn’t just a get away uno I care about my family and I want to take them all with me all the times

Try it the other way. Is it alright if your partner goes on a Cruise and leaves you to look after the 4 year old and baby alone?

If your first thought isn't "yes of course", then no, you can't really go

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks about this scenario. Your partner doesn't want you to go away. It's shit that she originally said she was ok with it though. I'd be disappointed too in your position. But it is what it is. You shouldn't judge the state of your relationship based on this though. The early years with young children - especially with a baby - is relentlessly brutal, stressful, and tiring. Remind yourself that you are in this together. You are each other's support. It will get easier.