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Original poster

Pregnant and husband lacks empathy

11 replies

NewAccount1990 · 15/02/2025 10:10

Is anyone else's partner, just not empathic? I feel like he doesn't get it 😔 I've been suffering from HG (severe sickness for 6 weeks) and its like business as usual for him. He heard me being sick this morning, (i accept this isn't new) but he got ready as normal and swanned off to football. I'm so annoyed I can barely function and he's just constantly doing his own thing. He thinks making a cup of tea for me, or washing up each night is him being supportive? He's not made a single sacrifice

I find his behaviour increasingly odd. For example at chrismtas he'd been short of money due to car issues, but put himself in debt for a Spa weekend as a present for me in May. I explained to him, he didn't have to put himself in debt and a IOU card baring in mind the gift wasn't until May would have been just as nice. For valentines day (he's not short of money this month) he wrote me an IOU meal.

What's your views.

OP posts:
Nothitrockbottomyet · 15/02/2025 10:21

Is this your first child OP?

His behaviour doesn't bode well for when baby is born. Sounds like he will expect to carry on his life as normal and for you to make all the changes to your life.

Original poster
NewAccount1990 · 15/02/2025 10:34

@Nothitrockbottomyet this is my third child but 1st with my husband. Since we married last year he's become a totally different man (marriage was something i didn't want but he did)

I tried to explain to him that I needed him to step up, and he said he had and was trying and im always critical of him. He said he'd been to pick my prescription up from the pharmacy on his way home. I had thanked him. And he does wash up every night now. And he's pick up the occasionally hoovering.

I gave him 3 examples of how I thought he could support, for example, coming home at a decent time and cooking, instead of leaving me to cook for 4 kids and him, despite me being unable to eat. I said he could have missed football training just once on Thursday as that morning, I'd broken down in tears telling him I couldn't cope. Yet he left the house earlier that day 7am and didn't return until 9pm. And all day he ignored my messages.

I just feel so alone 😔

OP posts:
Nothitrockbottomyet · 15/02/2025 10:40

I'm so sorry OP.

Do you have any family or friends irl that you can talk to?

JimHalpertsWife · 15/02/2025 10:42

So does he have a child too, who was home with you?

TipsyJoker · 15/02/2025 10:46

Yeah I’d be putting my foot right down and tell him that things will have to change or he can move out. Life has to change when you have children. He sounds extremely immature and selfish. Is the house yours?

Catapultaway · 15/02/2025 10:55

NewAccount1990 · 15/02/2025 10:34

@Nothitrockbottomyet this is my third child but 1st with my husband. Since we married last year he's become a totally different man (marriage was something i didn't want but he did)

I tried to explain to him that I needed him to step up, and he said he had and was trying and im always critical of him. He said he'd been to pick my prescription up from the pharmacy on his way home. I had thanked him. And he does wash up every night now. And he's pick up the occasionally hoovering.

I gave him 3 examples of how I thought he could support, for example, coming home at a decent time and cooking, instead of leaving me to cook for 4 kids and him, despite me being unable to eat. I said he could have missed football training just once on Thursday as that morning, I'd broken down in tears telling him I couldn't cope. Yet he left the house earlier that day 7am and didn't return until 9pm. And all day he ignored my messages.

I just feel so alone 😔

I remember your other threads... wasn't your 5 year old his? And I thought you'd left him from abuse much worse than this. I guess stori3s change week by week.

I don't know if your stories are true or not... either way, leave him and sort your life out.

Bananalanacake · 15/02/2025 11:08

Why are you cooking for 4 kids when you are expecting your 3rd? I thought you must have your 2 to look after with another on the way, or are you expected to look after his 2 kids from a previous relationship, if so he should be there more.

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 15/02/2025 11:10

Catapultaway · 15/02/2025 10:55

I remember your other threads... wasn't your 5 year old his? And I thought you'd left him from abuse much worse than this. I guess stori3s change week by week.

I don't know if your stories are true or not... either way, leave him and sort your life out.

Show quote history

Yeah agreed and if it’s the same person he goes to Footie training because he’s a semi pro and gets paid for it so hardly swanning off……..

ValentinesGranny · 15/02/2025 11:11

This isn't making a lot of sense.

JimHalpertsWife · 15/02/2025 12:19

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 15/02/2025 11:10

Yeah agreed and if it’s the same person he goes to Footie training because he’s a semi pro and gets paid for it so hardly swanning off……..

Show quote history

Ahhhh js it that guy?

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 15/02/2025 14:53

JimHalpertsWife · 15/02/2025 12:19

Ahhhh js it that guy?

Show quote history

Yeah I think so. Same post different thread….

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