Should I go to her wedding?

[Lemonandginger1]

My friend invited me and DP to her wedding later this year.

However, the man she's marrying cheated on her for 3+ years with someone and tried to hide it. She knows I don't like the guy because of what he did but she took him back so I'm trying to support her as long as she's happy. She clearly wants us to be a part of her special day but it hurts knowing she is going to marry this guy. It's her choice but I don't really feel I can go to the ceremony and see her tie the knot to this prick.

WWYD? Just suck it up, go and try to be a supportive friend? Or not go?

If you can't accept her relationship surely it's bigger than her wedding. It's being in her life. If you can't accept it, bow out of her life. Personally, while I get your concerns entirely, I don't think you should turn your back. I wouldn't marry someone that cheated, but I equally wouldn't turn my back on someone who did.

I’d go. I’ve been to a couple of weddings where I thought it was a mistake. The important thing is her feelings, I guess.

She’s probably one of these people who thinks that a wedding ring miraculously stops cheats cheating, gamblers gambling etc. Poor woman.

I'd go unless you don't want to be friends any more.

You'll be going for her not him. She's made her choice. Not going to her wedding will probably be friendship ending.

If its local and doesnt cost much i would go to be supportive

If it's in the highlands or something no way... I'd make my excuses and send a bland card

Go….. but don’t drink so much you think it’s a good idea to slag her DP off to anyone that’ll listen.

You need to go, or risk losing the friendship. And if he cheats again in future, she'll need you to turn to. If you've cut her off because of the wedding, she'll have nobody. A friend of man married an awful man, angry, emotionally abusive, all round jerk to be honest. I never liked him. I still went to their wedding, and I'm still holding her hand years (and multiple kids) later through the misery he continues to cause her. It's crap, but that's what good friend do. She's an adult at the end of the day and you can't influence her choices. Trust me, if you put her in a position where you expect her to choose between you or him, you're the one getting the boot.

Is the reason you don't like him because of the cheating 3 years ago? Or has he continually treated her like shit over the years since then? If it's just the cheating thing, get down off your high horse and go to your friends wedding. She has moved on, you need to too! If he has continued to treat her like shit, then it's harder to call. You risk losing your friendship if you don't go!

I would either go or not but I am not judge, jury nor executioner and would not feel i have a right to judge her decisions

Do you want to stay friends? Is this worry she's being messed around still or disagreements over values?

If you love your friend go to support her or have a good reason not to.

If not don't go

@Lemonandginger1 Hi, if you really are unable to come to terms with something that a friend went through, would you want someone at your special day harbouring resentment?(and being aware of this). Its your friends desicion, they have moved on. Sorry Op don't want to sound harsh but, you need to move forward also. Its crap though tbf
You sound like a good friend, she is lucky to have you. Go and enjoy yourselves. Goodluck.

Thanks everyone! Me and DP are going to go for her, not for him.

But how do I respond to constant messages with wedding mood boards, asking me about how maternity/ paternity pay work, shoe ideas, wedding outfit ideas? I want to be supportive but I'm finding it hard to be excited for her and overwhelmed by so many messages. I get she's excited and but multiple messages every day or every other day is too much.

I'd go to the wedding, your friend obviously wants her friends there.

However I'd be buying a wedding present suitable for her, not them. Ie more personal like a birthday present .

This ^