How do I handle asking angry DH for time apart?

[Shouldhavedonesomethingbefore]

He's just blown up at another small thing.

Oldest DC was there and called him out. I need to do something - I'd like to ask him to stay somewhere else for a bit - but how do I handle it? (I'm going to try and find a solicitor for legal advice tomorrow).

I'm not concerned he'd be violent. But I do think he'll resist, probably question why he should leave the house - we own it together.

What should I do?

@Shouldhavedonesomethingbefore legal advice is good however if you feel under threat, and it doesn’t have to be physical threat, do not hesitate to call 999. Because these men that have explosive tempers and are emotionally abusive may eventually become violent. Has he ever throw something / broken something in anger? If you are in a position where you do call the police, you can get certain orders in place to remove him from the house.

I think you can try to get him to leave voluntarily, will he be able to see the effect of his behaviour on the kids?
But as others have said; unless there's police involvement he can't be compelled to leave his own home.

I was in a similar situation and in the end had to move out with 3 kids to a small rental sharing a room with my youngest, while now xH stayed in the large 5 bed family home. Best thing I ever did though and the kids were right behind me.

How old are the dc and who is the main caregiver? You can start divorce proceedings as a solid start.

My OH is a narcissist - 100% but the truth is you can’t make them go and this type of men don’t do the right thing by their family. You might have to accept that you and the children need to leave - sorry!

I've just spoken to a solicitors and arranged an initial call. Never done that before so it's a big step for me.

History is - been with him 20 ys. Anger and moods not always an issue but have happened throughout. I always thought it was me in the early days - too sensitive.

When it started affecting oldest DC we went to couples counselling. Eventually got somewhere and their relationship improved as well. Pandemic helped too - maybe less stress.

It's happened much less often since then - but it does still happen. The recent incidents have been relatively minor - I think I've just had enough. And oldest DC suggested yesterday it's making her think about how often she'd come home once she's at uni.

A few days apart would be a real respite. Bet he's planning Valentine flowers though - even though we've not spoken since the flare up.