Following a miscarriage at 13 weeks, DH and me and our 3 young DC were supported by my parents coming to visit and take care of the kids. They left for home a few days ago. (We are in Ireland, about an hour from retired PIL, and my parents are in Scotland, also retired.)
When we told our parents that a scan showed baby had no heartbeat, my parents booked flights and arrived the next day.
FIL had promised DH that he would take care of the children on the day I was booked for surgery, but when he knew my folks were here he was relieved and he backed out.
MIL did not call or text either of us. She definitely knew.
PIL came to visit on the day after I got home from hospital. MIL had planned to come over and cook dinner for everyone.
DH was so hurt by the prior lack of contact that he busied himself doing jobs in the garden so he would not have to talk to them.
My parents took our children to soft play.
I spent most of the afternoon in bed crying.
My parents then came back to eat at the time MIL had proposed. We all sat round the table together. We always need to make sure she knows how thankful we are for her feeding us, and as usual she went round the table asking everyone in turn how the food was.
But I just did not feel like playing dinner parties. I ate very little and then excused myself and went back to bed.
My parents then brought the kids to sleep over at the little house they had rented nearby.
DH started cleaning up and his parents sat in the lounge. After half an hour he said they should probably head away, that he was very tired too and had to take care of me.
It has been 2 weeks and there has been no call or message or contact at all from them.
DH says he is not sure if he even wants to see them again.
Difficult upbringing, emotional manipulation from his mum, dad mostly absent for work. His older brother cut all contact with them, us and the rest of the extended family about 2 years ago.
DH is now wondering if he wants to take this step, or if he wants to quietly withdraw and just give up sharing anything with them.
I don’t know what I am asking for here. I am just sad and tired and I don’t know what is meant to happen next.