Hello Mumsnetters!
Just looking for a little advice or a moan - not sure which.
I have been living with my partner for just over a year with my child from a previous relationship. However, as much as I love him I just don’t know if I can continue to live with him and I’m starting to get easily irritated.
A few reasons as to why:
He eats everything in sight, and will gorge on full packets of biscuits in one sitting. My child asked for a certain packet of biscuits in the weekly food shop, they’ve had one biscuit out of the pack and my partner has scoffed the rest. He barely ever contributes financially to the food shop, and when he lived on his own he would only buy food that he would need for that day eg a microwave meal.
He never puts lids back on anything, which means when I come to use the bubble bath/milk or any liquid they end up spilling everywhere.
He constantly rams clothes into the washing machine to the point that the door will barely close. He will then continue wash after wash to proudly announce the basket is empty but there is nowhere to dry the clothes, and the clothes that are dry he will just throw on the bed for me to sort.
He never washes dishes, but will fill the sink with cold water. This leaves me to get up on a morning and wash his dishes from the night before.
If there is packets of food in the fridge, he will just rip them open to use and then leave them open in the fridge. I’ve tried explaining that we have bag clips to seal things, or if he actually uses the ‘pull me’ tab they will restick but it falls on deaf ears.
He shaves/trims his beard and will just leave all his hairs everywhere.
He never cleans his toothbrush and there will be toothpaste all over the sink/mirror after he has brushed his teeth.
He drops and breaks everything, but will not pay to replace items.
He never closes the back door, and will happily leave it open all day if he has let the dog out.
He will put the heating on in the morning and leave it on all day, and falls asleep with the television on rather than turning it off when he knows he is tired but doesn’t pay towards the heating/electrical bill.
He has point blank said he refuses to learn how to drive, but expects me to be a taxi driver to him and his child when it is his days and never offers petrol.
He does pay half towards household bills (barring gas and electric) but that is where it stops. He won’t pay towards days out, the rare takeaway, or anything financial in the house (our fridge broke and I had to pay for a new one). He also never contributed to anything when we moved into our house eg paint, wallpaper.
He offers to help with housework, but it normally ends with me having to reclean his idea of clean.
Sorry it is a long post but I am at my wits end! No amount of sit down discussions seem to get through to him. Other than the above he is a lovely person, and is nothing but caring towards me and my child. However, I just feel as though since we have moved in together I’ve became a mother to him rather than his partner. He was a very capable adult when living on his own. I’m also pregnant, and I’m beginning to worry about the fact I’m going to have to deal with this behaviour and a child and a newborn. Does anyone have any advice on what I can do other than tell him we will have to live separately?