Is she really over her ex husband? Struggling with my new relationship.

[MyTealBiscuit]

Hey everyone,

I could really use some advice about my new relationship. Ive been seeing a woman for a little while now, and while I really like her, i am starting to feel like her ex-husband is still a huge part of her life, maybe too much.

They divorced in 2018 and have two kids together, so I completely understand them needing to co-parent and stay in touch. But their relationship seems to go way beyond that. They speak every day, have dinner together, run a business together, and see each other almost daily. She even took a call from him right after we had been intimate, which honestly threw me. On top of that, she talks about him all the time, and I am starting to feel like I am dating someone who's still emotionally attached to their ex.

I want to be understanding, but I also dont want to be in a relationship where I feel like Im always competing with the past. Ive not brought this up with her yet because I don't want to seem insecure or unreasonable, but its been weighing on me.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Am I overthinking this, or is this a red flag? How would you approach this conversation?

Would really appreciate any thoughts or advice!

Throw this one back, it's far too complicated

Too complicated

He's obviously a priority to her. I'd move on personally.

There's a lot of history there, and you need to set boundaries that work for you, so you need to speak up about this sooner rather than later.

These boundaries probably won't suit her, so expect she'll not be happy with them and ultimately you'll break up.

Why did they split up? Who initiated it?

I think it’s totally acceptable that you are uncomfortable with this set up as would many other people

I also would not like this

I can’t imagine how anyone else has succeeded in a relationship with either of them to be honest!

I wouldn't like this either. Even if they really are both over each other, they aren't being fair to future partners by staying so close.

If the relationship is otherwise good I might have a chat with her about it first, though I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out she is more inclined to preserve the longer more established relationship with the ex husband than she is the one with you.

Agree with PPs - these is way too much contact and way too intimate. Makes you wonder why they split up.

Forget it

It's just an emotional rollercoaster for you

How long have you been seeing this woman? I gather it's a very new, and presumably same sex relationship, given that you've been all over the pregnancy boards the past couple of months speculating that you may be pregnant after TTC with a male partner for a year. If I recall you're only 20 - in which case, you're too young for this level of drama with a married woman. Additionally, I presume your previous relationship has very recently ended, in which case you might benefit from taking some time to yourself before jumping straight into another relationship.

Alternatively you're trolling, but I know that this suggestion really pissed you off when it was flagged previously.