Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ruined a friendship?? :( helppppp

11 replies

Lasagnelady92 · 10/02/2025 22:18

I met a friend (R) through a mutual friend of ours- just for context the mutual friend had a crush on me- Which we have had an honest conversation on and I have made it clear that I am not feeling the same way as him. The friend (R) knows about this and he was very supportive to the both of us. And quite quickly we were back to normal all 3 of us being friends and hanging with zero awkwardness . R and I have a lot in common and we have the same sense of humour, he’s belly achingly funny and always makes the effort to message me and see how I’m doing. We speak about family, relationships and our disaster dates etc. I have plenty of male friends and yes we have emotional connections. But with him, it’s different because I feel a different kinda happy and there’s a buzz whenever we are together or talking on the phone. He recently told me he is attracted to me physically and emotionally but a lighthearted way - we just laughed it off. But I wondered if that was his way of letting me know? So I asked him if there was any truth into what he said and that it won’t make things awkward as I am a chilled out laid back person. He messaged saying he appreciates the message and yes he is feeling some type of way with me but that he cannot find the words at the moment. I took that as a hint to give him some space to figure out what it is that he’d like to say. Part of me just thinks is he holding back from saying much because of our mutual friend? I just don’t know! How much space do I give him? Does he really want space or is he expecting me to message him. Ugh I am terrible at this.

OP posts:
propllop · 10/02/2025 22:32

He's testing the waters!

Anewyearanewday · 10/02/2025 22:35

Imo you rejected his friend so he's feeling unsure about what to do next. Ask him out?

Foxlovesfruit · 11/02/2025 05:15

My boyfriend (now husband) said the same to me in the early days of our relationship. Turns out he was trying to find the courage to say he loves me.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 11/02/2025 05:30

It might need more time. Carry on meeting him and laughing and just let it breathe. No pressure. Keep it chill and hopefully he’ll get brave and snog you soon.

Starsandall · 11/02/2025 05:44

I think it’s your turn to be brave op if that’s what you want.

discdiscsnap · 11/02/2025 05:47

He likes you, he wants more. Do you??

Devon24 · 11/02/2025 06:14

He is looking for you to say you like him and would welcome a date..
Space will cause confusion in this scenario.

Devon24 · 11/02/2025 06:15

I don’t understand the title. Where is the ruined friendship?!

category12 · 11/02/2025 06:20

He's said he fancies you. If you fancy him back, just say something like "well if you asked me out, I wouldn't say no".

Sounds like you blew him off a bit with this bit "that it won’t make things awkward as I am a chilled out laid back person" - it sounds a bit like you're not interested back.

Notsosure1 · 11/02/2025 06:40

But do you actually find him attractive and want to date him, you haven’t said.

This is a shining example of TWO men wanting to be friends with someone they fancy. I wonder why. All the posts saying men are quite capable of being friends with women and not being attracted to them so ppl should just accept that it’s totally normal for men and women to be friends with no messiness of other ‘feelings’.

In my experience, ppl I know and things I have read online, in friendships with the opp sex, the women are more than capable of seeing their male friend as a friend only but it is rare for the man not to find the woman at least physically attractive - not always the case but often. They just don’t seem to want to waste their valuable time putting effort into a ‘friendship’ with a woman that is going to go nowhere sexually. Usually when a woman makes it abundantly clear she does not want to have a relationship with them they take that as their cue to leave, but some will hang around on the off chance, or be waiting in the wings, convinced she’ll change her mind eventually. I’m not saying that’s the only reason men will hang out with women, but even if they acknowledge they won’t be in a relationship with them then they will still find them attractive, which is enough for them.

I think a lot of women who do not find the man attractive in that way are fully aware they are desired by that person in the friendship but either choose to ignore it and focus on the attributes they bring as a friend, or secretly enjoy the attention and safety of knowing it will go nowhere.

category12 · 11/02/2025 06:45

Oh I think I misread the whole thing. 😳

OP isn't interested back, that's the point, category12. 😂.Doh

New posts on this thread. Refresh page