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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Pestering me again

7 replies

Motylog · 10/02/2025 18:27

There was a woman who latched onto me and would dump her negative problems on me. I only heard off her when things were going bad.

The last time we spoke was New Years Eve. She was emotionally abusive because she said how dare I tell her to see her GP or a counsellor and was quite aggressive in her messages. It was getting beyond a joke. On a daily basis she would tell me about negative news stories which I didn’t like and because I didn’t get affected by it she was angry. She kept going into great detail about how the news was making her ill but she refused to stop watching it expecting me to listen.

Why should I get depression because of the news and she doesn’t like the fact I want to be happy which is selfish. Then she was saying people who go to counselling are weak and I said that is judgy and those people have probably had a traumatic time. She said she will watch what she tells me in future so I told her I am sure she can confide in someone else.

Unfortunately she has messaged me tonight asking how things are. I really don’t want to go down this rabbit hole again of emotional abuse and listening to her problems. I feel she has only got in touch as her confidant who she latched onto since me has kept their distance. I don’t want this nonsense again.

OP posts:
maslinpan · 10/02/2025 18:30

You are under no obligation to her.. Block her number.

Stripeyanddotty · 10/02/2025 18:30

Just block her.
Job done.

babiesinthesnowflakes · 10/02/2025 18:31

Either send the most bland reply you can think of e.g. “all fine with me thanks, bit fed up of this miserable weather but looking forward to spring!” And absolutely no questions back to her.

Or just don’t reply at all.

RubyRedBow · 10/02/2025 18:31

Why isn’t she blocked? Do it now.

CalicoPusscat · 10/02/2025 18:39

She sounds draining and energy zapping. Block.

Pippa12 · 10/02/2025 18:45

I had a ‘friend’ like this. Always an issue, always ill/depressed/skint/marital issues/family drama/off sick/being assessed for ADHD/Autism/Bi-polar/BPD… something every bloody time.

I came to my senses, sent very ‘yeah all good thanks- hope you are too!’ multiple times. She’s left me alone, I’m much happier.

My DH nicknamed her Dyson as she was nothing more than a mood hoover and certainly no friend!

TheseBootsAreWalking · 10/02/2025 19:39

The thing she is doing is fishing. She has probably thought of you since you were available last time. Its not genuine on her behalf to pop into your messages to ask how you are, its fishing. Whoever takes the bait will be in for a shedloads of texting, but all one sided by the sound of things. The beauty of this only being a message is you have no obligation, non whatsoever to reply. Dont acknowledge her as her negativity will transfer onto you. Just block.

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