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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Suggestions/Advice

2 replies

11Turtle · 10/02/2025 17:28

I will do my best to make this as short as possible. I have a boyfriend of off and on for 10 years at the end of the year. We have 2 younger sons. Our oldest son is 7. When he was born my boyfriend opted out of in clinic treatment because he was shooting up heroine and in turn chose to do outpatient by getting methadone doses once a week. Fast forward to current times, he is still taking methadone. We were living apart for 2 years and he helped financially here and there. As of last month we moved into a place with both of our names on the lease and I noticed just from me asking harmless questions he would scream or get upset. Very tempered, lo and behold I found some evidence of drug use that he is smoking. Not sure of how often or when it started. It’s certain his drug use will not seize and I feel like now since I allowed us to sign a lease together I’m stuck until the lease is up. Is this true? Also, I’m sure it won’t make a difference or be necessary to expose it either or ask him what I already know. How do I go about this? Am I suppose to pretend I know nothing until our lease is up? I need some advice or suggestions on how to go about this please.

OP posts:
Channellingsophistication · 10/02/2025 18:24

Well I think you need to end relationship once and for all and ask him to leave. Do you some family to support you in doing this? Is it a private rental agreement? Can you afford it on your own?

11Turtle · 10/02/2025 18:59

@Channellingsophistication I have support to a certain extent, also this lease was signed with the landlord by both of us so I thought him and the landlord would have to agree to remove him from it first. I feel terrible due to kids being involved and I know they enjoy the time they do get to spend with their dad, however my thinking is on the long run. I could afford the rent on my own. Im just worried about how and if to go about it, if I need to explain why.

OP posts:
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