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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I can never forgive this can I? (Trigger Warning Suicide, DV and SA mentioned)

26 replies

TheBadButGoodButBad · 09/02/2025 18:28

Last year my ExH decided to take residency of our then 9 year old DC without asking me or going to court (we already had a CAO in place for residency for me and visitation for him). DC is now 10 almost 11.

I battled through the courts to get DC home, DC wanted to be home with me. ExH stopped all contact between us, told school he had serious concerns for DCs safety with me and told DC that I’d threatened to kill myself in front of them. I do have some health issues which cause me anxiety but I’d never harm myself, and definitely not in front of DC.

Long story short it took 4 hearings but DC was reunited with me, ExHs visitation was halfed and what he does have is now subject to him being arrested if DC is not returned to me. He’s already tried to keep hold of DC twice, the first time I only threatened to call the police so ExH returned to me, the second time I actually had to and ExH was arrested and charged with breech of a court order and controlling and coercive behaviour towards an ex-partner.

During all if this my parents and siblings decided that ExH was in the right to keep hold of DC, that I had in fact threatened to harm myself in front of DC, that I was a danger to DC and I’ve always used DC as a weapon to point score with – this was because I refused to let my parents take DC out of school for two weeks to go abroad without me. I was happy to go on holiday with them during the school holidays and bring DC with me, and pay for mine and DCs places and the difference in their costs between term time and school holidays – my parents thought I was disgusting. DC has a medical condition which has to be closely monitored so often only has around 85% attendance at school, so I was risking a fine for the holiday which I could neither afford nor did I want DC out of the country away from me for two weeks. ExH doesn’t believe DC has this medical condition and my family believe him even now. They also said I’d made up domestic and sexual assault against ExH and convinced the police to charge him – he has 8 separate charges from our relationship and now 2 more since we separated. They’ve told ExH that I’ve made my health conditions sound worse than they are, and the HCPs treating me are rubbish and don’t know what they’re talking about – they also found my old diaries from when I was a teen and showed these to ExH to prove that I’ve always been unhinged and a liar (thankfully these where thrown out of court as dairies/journals are allowed to be private and confidential in the same way medical evidence is and it’s up to me if I share them!)

Parents especially are asking me to forgive them, they said they were stressed and upset over the situation, were trying to be on DCs side and that they don’t deserve to be punished by losing contact with their grandchild over it – DC is the only grandchild.

For context parents have form for changing sides when it suits them, they often played me and my siblings against each other, would play favourites with us (I was rarely the favourite) and told me I would be an awful parent when they found out I was pregnant, said I was great once DC came along and ExH and I were forever, then hated on ExH for 3 years after we split because he hurt me so it’s no surprise they chose ExH over me, but I don’t think I can or should forgive?

Tell me I’m not being silly or overly anxious about this? I keep getting messages from extended family telling me that I’m putting a lot of pressure on my parents, using my DC as a weapon against them and I’ll be sorry if one of them dies without having seen DC again.

OP posts:
username299 · 09/02/2025 18:31

They can get to fuck. I can't believe they sided with an abuser who took your child and brought your diaries to court to prove you mad. You should go no contact.

Hoppinggreen · 09/02/2025 18:33

I am really sorry this happened to you, you have fought so hard to protect your child.
In your shoes I would not be having my parents in my life. They weren't just unsupportive, they tried to support your ex and I could nover forgive that.
Plus, I wouldn't trust them

BreadInCaptivity · 09/02/2025 18:35

As a parent your job is to put the wellbeing and safety of your children above all.

That includes being vigilant in determining the people who have access to your children.

Your parents have not put yours (their child) or their grandchild's wellbeing first, ever by the sounds of it.

They DO deserve to lose contact, because they have proven time and again the only "side" they pick is the one that suits them at a specific point in time.

By stopping contact you are protecting your children from the same shit they have dished out on you since childhood.

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/02/2025 18:35

God, what a horrible situation. Is there are value for your DC in having a relationship with your parents? Do you/your DC have a relationship with your siblings?

Fuck the extended family - nothing to do with them.

If you do decide to let them see your DC - because it's in your DC's interest - then you need boundaries set in stone, and set in writing telling them exactly what is acceptable and what is not and the consequences of them crossing lines.

Thecatthatgotthesouredmilk · 09/02/2025 18:37

They take toxic to the next level.

TheBadButGoodButBad · 09/02/2025 18:37

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/02/2025 18:35

God, what a horrible situation. Is there are value for your DC in having a relationship with your parents? Do you/your DC have a relationship with your siblings?

Fuck the extended family - nothing to do with them.

If you do decide to let them see your DC - because it's in your DC's interest - then you need boundaries set in stone, and set in writing telling them exactly what is acceptable and what is not and the consequences of them crossing lines.

My siblings are on my parents side saying that I am using DC as a weapon and they won't speak to me until I apologise to them and my parents.

OP posts:
SiobhanSharpe · 09/02/2025 18:38

You're not being silly at all. Your family sounds awful -- what do they bring to your life other than anxiety and trouble?
It's up to you of course but I would consider keeping contact with them to a bare minimum. They made their bed, they can lie in it.

Twaddlepip · 09/02/2025 18:41

username299 · 09/02/2025 18:31

They can get to fuck. I can't believe they sided with an abuser who took your child and brought your diaries to court to prove you mad. You should go no contact.

100 percent this. You’re surrounded by abusers.

Pashazade · 09/02/2025 18:41

Final statement of I am really sad that you have all done nothing but call me a liar and make my life miserable. We are done.
Then block all of them.

TheBadButGoodButBad · 09/02/2025 19:00

SiobhanSharpe · 09/02/2025 18:38

You're not being silly at all. Your family sounds awful -- what do they bring to your life other than anxiety and trouble?
It's up to you of course but I would consider keeping contact with them to a bare minimum. They made their bed, they can lie in it.

Edited

I mean I have no-one at all if I cut my family off, none of my cousins, aunts or uncles will speak to me, they'll all side with my parents/siblings, so it's an anxiety thing of being left with no-one

OP posts:
SiobhanSharpe · 09/02/2025 19:07

That is indeed very sad, OP but you would at least be getting rid of the anxiety they themselves bring to your life, and with any luck you could concentrate on finding happiness with just you and your DC, knowing that you are protecting them from abusive relatives.
I can see that you are frightened of being alone with no support but that may improve over time, you might make freinds with other mums, neighbours and so on. Perhaps other lone parents on here might have suggestions for you. I do hope things go better for you soon.

Spooky2000 · 09/02/2025 19:10

TheBadButGoodButBad · 09/02/2025 18:37

My siblings are on my parents side saying that I am using DC as a weapon and they won't speak to me until I apologise to them and my parents.

Jesus no, you're NOT overreacting or anything. I am one of 22 children - various half brothers/sisters and step-brothers/sisters. Thirty years ago, I dumped the lot and moved to the Midlands and became me, my own person. My friends are my family now. My 'family' were/are a bunch of obnoxious, toxic individuals who delighted in making me feel small, bullying and abusing me. I've never regretted my decision. Get rid.

The other thing is that if they have contact with your DC, who's to say that they won't be whispering poison into his ear and using him to monitor you for the purposes of a return to court? They have proven themselves to be duplicitous and morally reprehensible - you should not feel any remorse in disappearing from their lives.

TheBadButGoodButBad · 09/02/2025 19:13

Spooky2000 · 09/02/2025 19:10

Jesus no, you're NOT overreacting or anything. I am one of 22 children - various half brothers/sisters and step-brothers/sisters. Thirty years ago, I dumped the lot and moved to the Midlands and became me, my own person. My friends are my family now. My 'family' were/are a bunch of obnoxious, toxic individuals who delighted in making me feel small, bullying and abusing me. I've never regretted my decision. Get rid.

The other thing is that if they have contact with your DC, who's to say that they won't be whispering poison into his ear and using him to monitor you for the purposes of a return to court? They have proven themselves to be duplicitous and morally reprehensible - you should not feel any remorse in disappearing from their lives.

ExH still has contact with DC so I can't move too far out of the area, plus DC loves their school and moves to secondary in September so don't want to move too quickly/too far.

ExH may still have contact with my family and allow DC to see them through him so I may never fully get away anyway.

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 09/02/2025 19:13

Holy shit, I'd literally never speak to them again, parents or extended family. Or ExH tbh, I'd do all communication through an app with him.

You poor thing, what an awful load of shite to go through. You're definitely not being over anxious, I consider myself a fairly tough cookie and I think I'd be in bits if my parents treated me like that. It might be hard being on your own but surely it'll be easier than being surrounded by abusers and enablers?

EverybodyLTB · 09/02/2025 19:15

Im so sorry, but you have disgusting abusive parents. There’s no two ways about it, and the conditions you grew up in made you a target for your equally despicable ex-husband. You need as little contact as possible, and I mean actually as possible not just low contact. I mean actually do not have contact unless legally bound. They are awful, and I’ve experienced similar with the switching and putting against, the gaslighting, it does something to you that is so hard to define. I hope you can find peace and a way of moving forward and find new people to support you and live your life around.

TheBadButGoodButBad · 09/02/2025 19:15

JudgeBread · 09/02/2025 19:13

Holy shit, I'd literally never speak to them again, parents or extended family. Or ExH tbh, I'd do all communication through an app with him.

You poor thing, what an awful load of shite to go through. You're definitely not being over anxious, I consider myself a fairly tough cookie and I think I'd be in bits if my parents treated me like that. It might be hard being on your own but surely it'll be easier than being surrounded by abusers and enablers?

ExH refused to use an app, I suggested it in court but the court said he couldn't be forced to use one. I have a specific email address set up for him to talk to me on and he's only allowed to ring me in an emergency but he still has contact with DC so may allow my family to see DC through him.

OP posts:
Vaxtable · 09/02/2025 19:19

No way on hells earth would your parents be seeing my child

i would now go completely NC

you could not trust them

RedHelenB · 09/02/2025 19:21

Does your dc want to see their grandparents?

BellissimoGecko · 09/02/2025 19:24

Hoppinggreen · 09/02/2025 18:33

I am really sorry this happened to you, you have fought so hard to protect your child.
In your shoes I would not be having my parents in my life. They weren't just unsupportive, they tried to support your ex and I could nover forgive that.
Plus, I wouldn't trust them

This.

I'm so sorry for how your parents have treated you, op. They are supposed to be in your corner.

You sound like an amazing strong woman. You deserve better people around you.

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/02/2025 19:27

No, no, no. They can get TF. Some things can't be forgiven - and you couldn’t trust them not to turn on you again either. I’m sorry for what you are dealing with op.

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/02/2025 19:30

TheBadButGoodButBad · 09/02/2025 19:00

I mean I have no-one at all if I cut my family off, none of my cousins, aunts or uncles will speak to me, they'll all side with my parents/siblings, so it's an anxiety thing of being left with no-one

Better to have no-one and start building new friendships than hold onto a horribly toxic family just because you share DNA.

NiftyKoala · 09/02/2025 19:34

TheBadButGoodButBad · 09/02/2025 19:00

I mean I have no-one at all if I cut my family off, none of my cousins, aunts or uncles will speak to me, they'll all side with my parents/siblings, so it's an anxiety thing of being left with no-one

OP better alone then in bad company.

Endofyear · 09/02/2025 20:00

I'm so sorry OP, what you've been through sounds horrendously stressful. You must be a very strong woman to have got through it and I'm sure it was love for your child that has kept you going.

Your family sounds toxic and if they're not 100% backing you, you don't need them in your life or your child's life. I would protect your child from them as much as possible. I know you're afraid that you will be alone without them but better that than to have them stirring up more trouble.

You don't have to be alone. You can make friends and fill your child's life with good people. Look for single parents support groups like Gingerbread in your area.

TheBadButGoodButBad · 10/02/2025 09:53

RedHelenB · 09/02/2025 19:21

Does your dc want to see their grandparents?

DC says that they enjoy seeing the grandparents, but don't want to see them without me because when I'm not there they say things about me that aren't nice. Parents would also do the same about ExH when we they were talking to me, would openly say horrible things about him within earshot of DC.

OP posts:
HelloMyNameIsElderSmurf · 10/02/2025 10:04

Do you know what, I'm in a very different situation but it's still linked to family toxicity and believe me when I say this: rip the plaster off and go no-contact.

Do I still have a lot of stress and intrusive thoughts about my situation? Yes, I'd be lying if I said I didn't.

But it it is NOTHING like the constant treading on eggshells/appeasement/fawn mode I was at trying to keep someone's approval who, at heart, did not approve of me, did not love me, did not have my back.

The sheer amount of energy you're expending on these people who are not only abusive, but groomed you to become abused by your partner... honestly, once that's out of your life you will be free.

Go NC. First thing to do after that is the Freedom programme. It won't just pertain to your ex, you'll also find it links into other situations in your life. Then go and find some nice friends who'll have your back. You can totally do this - look at what you've done already...