DH has always been a gamer since a teenager - I knew that when I met him. He goes through phases of playing a lot and uses it to unwind.
He stepped up playing a lot late in my pregnancy. I wasn't that pleased - we have a SEN child and it feels like we're forgotten when he's playing - he will lose track of time and forget things like getting DS to bed on time, that it's his turn to cook etc - I feel like all the mental load falls back on me to remember to do everything. I let it go at the time because I knew that he knew we had a lot of change coming with a second child and that he would step up when the new baby was here. He's also always been fine about being interrupted and getting on with things.
Second child came by C-section. He has been attentive and devoted for the first 10 days. Then as I got my strength back, he's gone back to it! He looked exhausted last night, and I was feeling relatively ok, so I told him to have a nap. 2h later I was really exhausted myself but I hung on with the two DC thinking he was still asleep - no he was gaming! I was so mad, I told him I was going to have a nap, gave him the baby and older DC to sort out for bed.
This morning he's gone upstairs and I think he's back on it again. We have an appointment we need to leave for in 45 mins, so I know that if I don't say anything then getting dressed, snack for older DC, changing back for younger DC won't be done.
I'm trying to decide what to say. I don't want to be controlling, but I think if he's going to have some leisure time where he loses himself in gaming, maybe he needs to let me know so I know that he's not busy and I can interrupt him. Or maybe I should ask him to put a timer so that he can check on us that everything is ok. At the same time, when we have some downtime it's fair enough that he can use it as he likes.
Any thoughts or advice is welcomed.