Hi, If someone could really help me, I'd much appreciate it.
I've been with my partner for 9 years.
I have one son from previous relationship, his dad died passed away when he was 1, he is now 13
My partner also has 2 children from 2 previous relationships, 1 lives close to us who is 12 and other lives a few hours away who is 16.
We have 2 sons together 1 six and the other 1 a 3 months old.
We've never lived together, he has his own house he owns and I rent.
Since we've had our last baby my partner has been staying at mine every single night.
He was paying £50 a week for our son and since our 2nd baby came along he's added £20 extra. Total of 70 pounds for both.
It's nowhere near what I'd get when I've calculated it on CSA website.
He won't tell me what he pays the other two exs, I know it's close to what CSA would make him pay as they've both said at some point they'd go through CSA and then they stopped threatening that, which means I know he's paying them close as it's kept them from going to CSA.
He pays for the extra also, amy clubs, uniforms, trips out, also spending money for any holidays etc.
He does not pay for the extras for our 1st son. When I question it he tells me all I have to do is ask. I do ask, I do mention it nicely and still nothing.
Anyway since he's been staying here every night, am I wrong in thinking he should be helping financially abit more? I'm paying for everything. I've mentioned it so many times, tried talking to him, showing him proof.
He tells me he has his own mortgage to pay for. He says I'd be using the same amount of gas and electric even if he wasn't here. He says things like 'Jesus how much money do you want from me'
He bought me a new bed last year, after he moaned for ages about how uncomfortable mine was when he'd stay. The mattress is more to his comfort as I find it too hard but I thanked him as he already broke my bed apart before I could say anything.
It go heated when I spoke last with him amount this financial issue and I asked him to start saying down his as I feel like I am being taken advantage of.
He refused and said this is his house just as much as mine and thats his bed he bought it. He then said its not my house and I don't pay nothing towards it as it's
a government funded house. He thinks because I get benefits I don't pay for rent, when I certainly do. I was upset by this. He said he has every right to be here whilst his two sons are here.
I've been sleeping on sofa in my living room for 2 weeks with our baby in the next to me crib because he still wakes in night and my partner has to get up for work. Another thing I don't agree with. Me having to sleep on sofa, even though he hasn't made me but made me feel like it as he's moaned when he's previously woke in the nights when he has work.
His own house is a shit state, falling apart. Moulded and quite frankly unlivable for any child. He hasn't said that but I've obviously been down there and it is. When we stayed at his a few weeks back as work was being down for 2 days at mine. He only put the heating on in living room, it was ice cold everywhere even bedroom. Nothing for us to eat, lucky to have a cup of tea and toast.
I've raised my first son alone without any help as his dad passed young so it's not about the money and me trying to get more out of it, I just think it's wrong and I feel taken advantage of.
I need someone to tell me straight whether I'm wrong or right. He tells me nobody else would expect it.