I’m reaching out to get other peoples opinions as I conflicted about how I’m feeling about a situation.
I have a relationship with my partner of 4 years who has had a problem with drugs in the past and has taken them recreational before and is still alcohol dependent.
Because of the alcohol abuse and it’s effects on us as a family I have lost a lot of trust in him and in my opinion if I can’t trust someone one way I can’t trust them in any situation.
My partner is caring and kind in the relationship but his Decision making is questionable around alcohol and choosing wrong or right in that area. He will drink drive and I’ve have had many arguments where I’m distraught but nothing I say goes through.
Ive been lead to feel disrespected and not heard and that makes me feel like he won’t take care of my feelings, he won’t conceded what’s wrong and right in other situations.
I have admittedly told him that I will even go as far as not trusting him to be faithful.
i feel that these feelings come from not being able to trust him to not get completely high of the face of the earth and not be able to have a cut off limit.
It isn’t about not wanting him to go out and get drunk or have a good time. I can’t trust him to be respectful and responsible because I’ve not seen those traits around his alcohol and our relationship.
so anyway his brother wants to take him to a gig, his brother is also alcohol dependant and takes drugs. He will go out all night on a bender and over do it. Their friend is going who is the same.
I felt uncomfortable the moment he told me and I tried to hide it. I am also 27 weeks pregnant and will be nearly 30 weeks when he goes to the gig.
he over heard me talking to my mum about my anxiety around it and his attitude was cocky. He told me there is nothing wrong with going and drinking and having good time and staying over night there (which he is right) but he’s not the normal girl or guy doing it. He’s an addict who is easily lead and will go on and on and on.
There is a difference between going out and having a good time and going out and completely over doing it.
sometimes I feel like with someone who is still a bachelor. I’m made to feel controlling but I know I wouldn’t feel this way if I didn’t have such a bad experience with the alcohol and drugs.
Normal situation where I feel like I could rely on him to go and have a good time but still be himself and respect me then yeah go for it go and I’ll say have a good night but it won’t be like that!
am I being unfair? I dunno :(
I don’t want to come across like I’m putting him under lock and key.
maybe I shouldn’t be with him if there is no trust.
this whole evening could have been calm conversation but he’s been cold and not understanding. The arrogance has been “wow”.
i didn’t want him to not go but I thought he may have seen my point