Has it ever helped anyone get over s break up to see someone else really soon?

[loveyoutothemoon]

Just curious really.
Has anyone found it helped to get over someone by dating straight away?

No. Using someone is wrong.

Might take your mind off briefly but I don't think it would help get over them no, in fact could make things worse

Thank you. Just wondered if anyone had done it and it's worked for them.

It's not really "getting over" someone, it's just not dealing with it.

If the rebound person is keen on you, it's a bit cruel.

I mean it depends on what the relationship was like as well and what there is to get over.. Really wouldn't recommend it if it was abusive.

It is very cruel. I'm just not thinking straight and it's a terrible idea.
I've just had my heart broken. Last time this happened was 11 years ago.
I know all you can do is wait for the feeling to pass, keep busy etc but I'm struggling.
I'm gutted.

Having some flattery and attention is nice, but ultimately unfair on the other person if you're just doing it as a distraction, and you'll probably find yourself comparing the new person to the old one (even if the ex is a knob!)

I think some men are different to women in how they process break ups and will seek out the company/adoration from any woman they can find and so on the surface appear to have moved on quickly, but they are often just ignoring their emotions. Which is why you hear so often about male exes popping up months later asking for another chance when the woman has processed the break up and has moved on.

Thats my experience anyway

Never works. Just delays your healing and moving on in a healthy way. Sadly you do have to go through the pain to process the relationship ending. I don’t think anyone should date until they’re over an ex but plenty do, and repeat the same behaviours in the next relationship. Whether it’s accepting less than they’re worth or behaving badly themselves.

I started seeing my DP literally days after I’d split up with someone. DP and I have now been together 22 years, so it worked well enough for me 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all answer really. Everyone’s situations are different. But I’d say the only important thing is not to mislead anyone. If you’re just looking for fun and a distraction, be honest about that.

As a youngster this was my method yes. It stops you moping. Pretty sure most people did that.

If it’s fun and you’re not going for ‘projects’ to fill the void.

I think it does

In the short term yes. It’s definitely a distraction.

But in my case, many years ago, he decided it had run its course before I did and then I had that upset plus the residual upset from the long term relationship before it to deal with and it was even harder in the long run.

You shouldn't see someone purely to help you get over someone else (unless it's a very VERY casual, one night thing, and both parties know that in advance).

It doesn't help anyway. It's a brief distraction. You need to process your feelings.

Temporary boost, but just postpones the pain and carries a lot of potential for making it worse.

Awful for the other person if they don't know you're just using them to self sooth and think it's more.

You'd be better throwing yourself into a project and time with people who love you.

Get back in touch with the person you were before this person came along. Revisit old haunts, hobbies, friends etc.
Do something lovely and/or fun
Do something totally left field like buy a sports kite and go up hills to get good at your flying skills... or book the train to Paris and visit the Louvre... Or other random highly novel plan.

O yes OP definitely - the best cure for one man is another man -

Personally I do think it helps. It's a good distraction.

Started dating my now husband 3 months after splitting with my ex, not what I planned but we are still very happy 7 years later .

I suspect I mourned my previous relationship years before we actually split
I've never missed my ex for 1 minute

I think it depends on the person and their previous relationship. Those saying they met their partners shortly after a break up maybe weren't that into their previous partners / didn't need to do much to get over them...?

If you aren't over the previous one, it sounds potentially codependent and chaotic to make a conscious decision to find a new relationship ASAP.

I found that I got irrationally attached to men I hadn’t even met yet because they signified that there might be someone else out there who was better for me than the ex. When it didn’t pan out as I’d hoped I’d be disproportionately upset. In the end I took a year plus a new job (and some anti-depressants) to get over him.

Then found an absolutely gorgeous FWB to get back on that horse before dating again!

By all means give it a go with informed and like minded partners but be prepared for inexplicably big feelings, even if (especially if) you’re still hung up on your ex.

I think it works

As long as men are getting a shag I don’t think they would care that much if being used for a bit.

No - it’s a rebound and invariably a very bad idea

I feel like at first, it feels great to take your mind off the other person but then as you get deeper into it, the other person triggers you into remembering or comparing between the first person and then all it becomes a bit too much and if anything can make you want to be with the first person even more because you’ve idolised them in your mind so that no one or nothing could even touch the way they made you feel.

It’s best to the inner work, healing and loving yourself by choosing to spend time with yourself. It is hard but after you’ve fully recovered from the wounds of the past, only then can you truly be set free into living a life of true fulfilment and happiness.