What does this all mean?

[Hubhubba26]

I'm so confused

This happens a lot, especially on weekends.

Partner looks sullen , gives off bad energy and appears to be sulking. Barely speaks. I try and ignore and act as breezy and caring as I can. Eventually I have to ask what is the matter are you OK. Partner denies anything is wrong and carries on looking sullen and being short with me. I say OK and carry on with my day. Eventually partners mood ends up affecting me and upon noticing this Partner cheers up.

What is this weirdness and has anyone else experienced this?

How long has this been going on for? Is he undergoing stress at work or anywhere else? Debt? Family problems?

Is there anything else going on?
House a mess? Is usually my trigger. Feeling overwhelmed with mental load of things etc.
resentment, kids. There are a lot of things it could be. But maybe just try sitting down with them and explaining what you are feeling. If nothing is clearly wrong and they just enjoy being off with you then that's not okay. Communication is key

Soooo he's stonewalling you until he makes you miserable, which makes him happy.

Emotionally abusive. Enjoying the power of controlling your moods and the atmosphere of the household.

Manages emotions as small children do - by evacuating them into others. Does not take responsibility for own feelings.

He sounds very manipulative. Acts sullen and miserable and then perks up when you show he has upset you. Meanwhile you have probably been tiptoeing round him trying to please him. It sounds like it's all about him and how much he can control your feelings and actions.

Abuse is not a relationship issue nor is it about communication or a perceived lack of. It’s about power and control.

He now needs to become your ex partner. His behaviour is another form of emotional abuse and he’s punishing you for some imagined transgression in his head.

How can you be helped into leaving your abuser?. Seek further help from Womens Aid re how to leave safely.

Maybe your partner struggles with the lack of routine at the weekend? Are they better if you have stuff all planned out to do?

He may struggle with a lack of routine on the weekends ?. How low is your own relationship bar to at all suggest that?. he’s a bloody man child.

He’s being abusive towards the op and when he notices she is unhappy he perks up.

My DP used to do this. He was depressed and hated his job. He would want to be left alone and do his own thing. Mostly gaming and drinking. He said he felt pressured by me to do stuff. I just wanted to spend quality time with him. It was miserable.

I eventually just got on with my life. We split up for a few weeks till he confessed what was happening. Now he just needs to tell me and life is a bit better.

You could try saying, "Oh, dear...you're having a sulky day! I'll leave you to it - you won't want me around, spoiling it!"

He's a rat up a drain pipe.
Immature, does'nt communicate and is likely to drain you.

When you are away from him for any length of time, you may notice you feel brighter, happier and more yourself.

If this is so, its time to decide wether its time to end it.

I have experienced this in the past. No idea how to deal with it long term while staying with them, it done my head in.

I ended up blasting "happy music" (Lego -everything is awesome was a fav) while doing housework. This seemed to annoy him further but I simply said I needed a happy environment to do housework in.
Probably not healthy, but he refused to talk about it and the music helped me from falling down the ditch into sullenness.

He’s another emotionally stunted man who would rather control than connect.

It’s controlling abusive behaviour designed to have you walking on eggshells and checking his mood. It’s revealing that he perks up when he knows he’s brought you down. That is his goal, to have control over the emotional temperature in your own home. He’s an abuser and I bet this isn’t the only thing he does.

Get rid of him. In the meantime spend weekends away from him. Don’t ask him what’s wrong, don’t try and cheer him up, just go out. Anywhere, as long as it’s away from him. Don’t play his game ever again.

Maybe your partner struggles with the lack of routine at the weekend? Are they better if you have stuff all planned out to do?

Who gives a fuck. He’s an adult not a baby.

It means he is an arsehole who enjoys being one.

Hubhubba26 · Today 18:52

Thank you everyone. We live with our 6 year old son which obviously makes things harder. I also stupidly agreed to move south to be near his dad. So not much support close by

Do you both get to spend the time you have doing stuff you both enjoy ? Maybe they are fed up always doing / going what you want to do .
Have you ever said to them , it's up to them to chose what to do on xx day ?

Where are you getting the idea that OP is making him do what she wants to do?

@GoldMoon no this isn't what's happening. He very rarely shows enthusiasm for my suggestions and we veer toward his ideas

Actually I had the feeling it was a same sex relationship, so I was way off !