Brother in law seems to treat me differently..?

[Chaicoffee]

Can anyone help me work out what's the deal here?
BIL is my DH's sister's DH.
He is older than DH and I by about 4 years and my SIL is 2 years older than us. We all have kids of a similar age.

Basically, I have always felt he doesn't like me, and tbh I don't really like him, call it a clash of personalities and just different outlooks etc. not saying I am right and he is wrong but just that we are very different and don't really gel.

Anyway, I have always felt he treats me a bit differently. And we went to a party last night and it really confirmed it.

DH and I arrived late after getting our kids to bed and the baby sitter round. When we turned up we went to SIL and gave her a hug, then I went to give him a hug (despite not really wanting to but being polite as I always am), and he said I should give MIL a hug first who was stood behind him. It was a weird thing to do because he made out like ladies first type thing, but by doing that he forced me to pull back from him and hug MIL. Then when we left the party he shook my DH's hand but made out like I was leaving the party early, he went "nope nope!" In a jokey way as if he was jokingly annoyed we weren't staying and drinking with him type thing.

These kind of passive aggressive jokes are always towards me. I don't know if it's because I'm an outsider of the family, like he is, or if he just really doesn't like me and has to somehow show it. The thing is I don't love him either, but I would always be polite as these family dos. He's always worse after a few drinks.

Anyone else have a situation like this?? I wonder what vibe I'm giving him that he seems uncomfortable round me.

Treat him like he treats you, wouldn’t bother trying for hugs or any physical contact to be honest, just polite hi & bye whenever you’re in his company.
If he says something just breezy oh thought you wasn’t into hugs etc.
Does your husband notice or have any opinion why he does this.

Meant to add don’t think you give of any vibes he just sounds like an arse who thinks he is being funny.

You mutually don’t like each other , your personalities clash, you don’t gel so of course you will both treat each other differently
take the situation for what it is and stop trying makes life so much easier and ironically you’ll probably get on better

Yes, this. OP, I'm not sure what's making you ask the question. From what you say, the situation isn't in the least mysterious. He doesn't like you, you don't like him. He 'treats you differently' because he doesn't like you, but family gatherings throw you together, and you seem to resent the fact that he is not going to any effort to cover up his dislike of you. Are you saying that you successfully conceal your dislike of him, and feel he should make a comparable effort?