Did your OH have a midlife crisis?

[PickledElectricity]

And did your relationship survive? What happened?

I think mine is in the early throes of one (about to turn 39, new job, new baby on the way, panicking about an the things he didn't do and all the ways his life is now restricted) and I am at a loss as to how to support him. I'm 33 myself so not a huge age difference.

How is he acting out his midlife crisis OP?

Mine is having his second mid life crisis and our relationship hasn’t survived. He’s blamed all of his low feelings on me and has shut down completely. I am devastated.

Sorry, OP. I think mine has had an extreme reaction though and hopefully your relationship will survive. I’d suggest couples counselling before things deteriorate. (Mine wouldn’t even consider it sadly.)

Can you talk to him about all these things he thinks he wants to do and find a way of him being able to do them either now or later on in life?

Yes mine did and it ended our 17 year marriage. He ticked every box of a midlife crisis but refused to admit it. Everything was my fault that he couldn’t live the life he had when he was in his 20s which he wanted to go back to because we had kids, there was no talking to him, he cut off all
our mutual friends, reconnected with a couple of people he’d known in his 20s and walked out on me and the three kids. He sees two of them occasionally now, one not at all, they have little respect for him and he’s hiding his finances and not even paying the bare minimum maintenance because it’s cash in hand which I can’t prove. But I have the love of my children and I hold onto that. Good luck, it’s not an easy road.

Wife and I had a major mid life crisis

Met each other, had two kids & got married.

My brother makes a lot of money from catering to peoples (ok Mens) mid life crisis's in his business

Yes, my partner did and our relationship didn’t survive. He walked out of his job, stopped providing for himself and his kids, started a new hobby and took it to the extreme. He tried running a business and lost everything. The bailiffs at the door were the last straw.

@JohnofWessex I'm curious as to your brother's job! Motorbike sales? Personal trainer? Hair transplants? Hopefully nothing on the sordid side

I did, do. Walked out of a home based well paying job, into a min wage job I enjoyed in early 20s.

To be fair that has led to a slightly better job.

But angry a lot, fed up, want to sell house, go travelling before too old just me and the dog.

Tied by family and pets and starting to resent them.

No idea how to get out of it, so you have my sympathies being the other side of it.

It feels very real though, luckily I don’t have a partner.

I think it might be revealing as its pretty unusual to say the least, call it training/instructing

Ah @JohnofWessex is Andrew Tates' lesser known third brother 🤣

Is there a difference between a crisis that happens in midlife as opposed to a crisis outside midlife?

DH did and his was very financially costly. I did and it was emotionally costly. We worked through them both together and emerged out the other side better people and very much in love (with each other 😁)

All my DH did was to buy a stupidly wanky sports car without consultation. Fortunately he could afford it and I laughed and ordered new sofas without consultation.

I did and blew up my 30 year marriage. No-one else involved, just felt that I couldn't live as we were for another 30 years. Don't regret it at all as we'd outgrown each other and were completely living separate lives. I'm now having the time of my life, I have to say. Feel more alive than I have done in years. So for me, it was completely the right decision.