Leave it or try again?

[Sophie000]

This happened a while ago but I still feel a bit sorry for him.

My husband got quite close to 1 of my friends boyfriends. After a few months they were going to the gym together, watching football, and the 4 of us were having drinks / nights out together.

After a while my husband ( and myself ) found out his girlfriend ( my friend, more of an acquaintance though ), was cheating and had been throughout their whole relationship, 1 day he hinted a few things and told him a few things he had heard. He didn’t want to go full throttle and say everything though. She got wind of this and made up so many things about my husband to stop them hanging out. Basically saying he’d been trying to come on to her, saying thing behind his back etc etc.

Me and my friend obviously fell out because of this too. But the 2 boys spoke and agreed they were fine ( as friends ) and the 2 of us could work things out for ourselves.

After that he completely ghosted my husband. Literally didn’t hear from him again. Ignoring messages etc.
This was over a year ago, and I just feel sorry for my husband about him losing a friend.

He says he’s really annoyed that his friend didn’t confront him about what his girlfriend had said, and just believed her. She must of been quite convincing. From an outside view it’s so obvious what she did.

Anyway, now I’ve heard they’re not in a very good place. Apparently he’s messaging other woman now ( so he’s no better then her ), and they’re on the verge of breaking up. My husband wonders whether he should message him to tell him the full extent of what he knows, or to just leave it and move on. He obviously didn’t want to hear it at the time but maybe now is different.

What would everyone else do? Just leave it and move on? Or try and get in touch with him and potentially make up? My husband has lots of friends btw so it’s not like he was his only friend.

Stay out of it. They're not friends anymore.

This is a great example where getting involved in other peoples relationships can horribly back fire. Be a friend and listen, but if you choose to proactively try and influence it rarely ends well. Both just learn and move on, leave other people's dramas to them.

Just leave it, it's a shame the friendship between them stopped but too much hassle

Leave it for all the above reasons. And

If their friendship restarted at this point when the other guy is looking to hook up with women your DH would probably be his wingman, which might bring a whole new set of problems

Don't get involved. People that play with matches get their fingers burnt.

If he ever wants to be friends with this guy again, he needs to leave it well alone and wait until he breaks up with her then reach out and support him. Nobody will ever appreciate being told to break up with someone or being given reasons to break up with someone they clearly aren’t ready to break up with (or they would have already!) and it actually just makes it more awkward for them trying to justify the relationship.

If and when they break up, your husband can message and support his friend. Until then all he will do if he gets involved is create more animosity and drama

As others say, leave well alone. It is all water under the bridge now, and one day the friend may come floating back, or he may not. It is for him to decide, really.

After a while my husband ( and myself ) found out his girlfriend ( my friend, more of an acquaintance though ), was cheating and had been throughout their whole relationship

How do you know this?

If he is going out with your ex-friend, definitely leave him alone. You don't need that level of crazy back in your lives.