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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What happens if you don't move out after court?

7 replies

Prix4 · 07/02/2025 06:05

A male family member who hides alot called me yesterday morning. I was aware he was due in court end of January to be evicted from his flat. He got in with a dodgy crowd last year. It sounds like there was some damage to a door and window. But also he's had various friends staying from the drug world.
He was meant to leave yesterday but said he'd still not had any court paperwork through so couldn't go to the council. The landlord from the sounds of things messaged asking a time for keys. He also claimed he'd spoken to the landlord who was returning today.
I'm just curious what will happen now. So the family can prepare for any attempts at using us.

What has sort of bothered me is 3 weeks ago he stopped talking to me. He didn't like my opinion on him always having a friend around there and not answering calls to loved ones and lying about people being with him. Yesterday he said he'd be sleeping on a bench. So I said my sofa was available for one night. But I also said I was cooking a stew and to let me know if he was going to be staying. He said he'd let me know by half 4. I had to call him at gone 5. Where he hesitated but said he'd come eat with me but had to get back to sort stuff. He took ages to arrive! Only stayed around an hour from 6.45. He said he would message to let me know he got home OK. He didn't. I tried calling him at 10pm. He didn't answer.

When he was here he had clearly had a haircut and was happy enough. Talking about these friends he's met at a local church hall where you go eat. He also has been taught tricks how to say he has a misses and a child to get more food at the food bank. He seems very much happy with his new life and doesn't seem to care any longer for me. I'm annoyed at myself really because I felt sorry for him yesterday and he wasn't interested at all in doing a basic thing like saying I'm home safe thank you.

I am sorry I'm rambling and fully get that addicts are like this. But it still is sad. He was a different man 6 months ago.

OP posts:
MythosK · 07/02/2025 06:33

If you mean the possession order expired yesterday, then the landlord will need to apply for a bailiff's warrant

Prix4 · 07/02/2025 06:37

MythosK · 07/02/2025 06:33

If you mean the possession order expired yesterday, then the landlord will need to apply for a bailiff's warrant

Is that a fairly quick process? I am hoping he will end up on a friends sofa. But he seems to be doing nothing about anything in the right way. I genuinely feel sorry for his landlord.

OP posts:
Macaroni46 · 07/02/2025 08:02

Stop giving him mixed messages. On the one hand you disapprove of his lifestyle (don't blame you) yet on the other you're supporting him. Don't invite him for meals or chase him. He sounds like a loser and a user (as in uses people). I'd leave him to it. Can't bear hearing about people who just are a drain on society.

PashaMinaMio · 07/02/2025 08:05

If he disobeys a court order to get out, the LL will engage with Baliffs who will attend without prior notice and kick him out. If it goes to the High Court it could happen very very quickly.

The Baliffs might be generous & give him an hour to gather his stuff but ultimately they have strong powers and won’t put up with any nonsense.

TheGoddessFrigg · 07/02/2025 10:30

This person sounds very vulnerable. Have you heard of 'cuckooing'? - its when people like drug users and dealers move into a vulnerable person's flat and exploit him. If your relative is going to be homeless it may be worth referring him to his local adult protection services

Prix4 · 07/02/2025 11:57

It very much seems like a cuckoo situation. Before June last year he was keeping yo himself largely. He was off work. He's always been a struggler. But I've never seen him like he's been the last 6 months. Since this man moved in. He left the property about 2 months ago and I was hopeful he would turn a corner. But there's now another lad on the scene who is often at his flat and sometimes has his girlfriend there too. It's extremely hard since he's greatful for this newish person for the friendship. But he never learns. He's got to a point now where he just seems to be comfortable around these individuals and i think its because its the level hes currently on and it won't change now.
Its very sad. I've still not heard from him today so I'm at a loss. I'd have thought by now he'd be awake. Who knows. It's hard really hard. I don't mean to enable him. But I wanted to see him yesterday to assess how he was. He is under a professional but he unlikely will progress whilst he's in the company of bad boys and addicts.

OP posts:
Dror · 07/02/2025 12:16

He's not your responsibility. You're worrying more about the man's private life more than he is.

Show the same level of concern he does for you.

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