DH and I are currently on a trial separation. There are many issues in our marriage, but one of my concerns has been his moods and his temper, which has been impacting our small DC.
For context, he said he would get anger management a while back but never did. Months went by and his moods got worse.
Finally I spoke to him again and he admitted he thinks he is depressed. Made an appointment to see the GP, which is an absolutely massive deal for him - to discuss mental health and ask for medication for his mood.
He got fobbed off with some lifestyle advice - none of which he has been able to or willing to do for years, quite frankly. Shortly after, he lost his temper yet again, shouted at the kids for next to no reason which led to me sending him packing. We're having a few weeks apart now.
He's promised to use this time to better himself, has seen friends, joined a gym, done some online CBT courses. Promised to work on his anger, and go back to the GP if things don't improve. For me, this is not a quick fix and I just don't think this short spurt of action is going to help, it takes a lot of time to develop coping strategies and actually implement anger management.
Would it be unreasonable to tell him that I want him medicated to even consider taking him back? Knowing him, I don't think the things he's doing are a long term solution, he's been so bad he's put his children and his marriage at risk and not even been able to see it, let alone talk about it, until I've ended it. Without medication I don't think he stands a chance and surely it makes sense to take as much help as possible. If he feels better he can stop them. I want it to take the edge off his anger and emotions while he deals with the strategies for longer term gain.
I'm thinking about telling him this is a deal breaker. We separate if he doesn't try antidepressants. Does this seem reasonable?
Genuinely don't know.