Hey, I don't have a question, I just needed to vent.
So I've been online dating on and off for about a year. I went back on about 2 weeks ago and got chatting to some interesting people on there. I'm not desperate to meet someone, however it would be nice to have some company on my kids free nights, if it's the right person.
Anyway, I matched with someone who wouldn't be my usual type, big muscles type. I usually find men that that very vain and having little else to talk about except their eating and gym habits. I had a little chat with him and was surprised when he was talking about lots of different hobbies. He was into history and meditation, was telling me about podcasts he was listening to, and books he was enjoying. He opened up a lot over just a few days, sent lots of pictures of himself and his two kids. I didnt reveal very much about my life. I had this niggling gut feeling, but wondered why as he'd been respectful, seemed genuine, chatty and interesting. He seemed to like that he had self awareness. Anyway, he said that his wife had unfortunately passed away 7 years ago, very suddenly. He had a few relationships recently but they weren't right. He was open with what he wanted. I thought my gut feeling was because he was such a large chap and had a dominant nature, very physically demanding job.
So I've just done some digging online and I've come across news reports! This guy was sentenced just a few months ago for beating his girlfriend, controlling and coercive behaviour and malicious communication. He kept a diary of her movements, was paraniod and convinced she was seeing other people behind his back, just horrible horrible stuff. He also has previous reports online for stabbing people, including a dog!
I am terrified that I've even spoken to him. He has sent a lot of info about himself but forgot to mention he's obviously just out of prison ( assuming he was serving time while on remand as he got over 2 years). I can see how he was oversharing to try and create the feeling of closeness quickly. He was getting his version of events in first- said he ex was into making him jealous to get his attention. Totally setting it up to look like the victim. Gaining sympathy for his wife's ( never married from what I've read online, so partner's) passing. I'm just so shocked. Such a lucky escape. I had a gut feeling, but I've been put off online dating now. I've only met up with 3 people over the year that I have been on there, and they were all nice people. This man came across as charismatic. I'm just so shocked tonight and so so glad I never got involved, or met up with him. He lives close enough to where I live. I'm hoping I can just disappear on the app now, but there is a worry there that he'd not be happy about it. I dont want any of his focus on me.