how do i make a life for myself

[wornoutbyarguing]

to cut a very boring story short i kicked my husband out 3 months a go as he was a complete deadbeat.he has been living with his mum as he is a complete mummys boy but will be moving in to a flat of his own in a couple of weeks .it will be the first time he has ever lived on his own.
whereas b4 i met him i had been a single paernt for 10 years with lots of friends ,partime jobs a great childcare network,very independent and me and my son were pretty happy.
now i am back to square one with only a few friends left 2 gorgeous little dds who are both at school now as well and its time to join the real world again.
i have spent the last few years being a sahm.i dont want to live off benefits forever,want to get back to the real world.dh thinks we will get back together but its not going to happen i want to move on,anyone got any good ideas how to start living again as i seem to have forgot how to be confident and be anything but a bored mum.
sorry dont want to sound like a whinger but i feel now my girls are now at school i need to learn to be independent again.i take ads for deppression which makes me quite a worry and suffer anxiety attacks.
i sometimes feel it would be better to let dh just come back as i feel very afraid to be on my own ,any advice or ideas would be soooooh appreciated.xxxxxxxxxx

Hello woba, how about joining a local council course, some of which are free? Have you ever looked into being a teaching assistant at your kids' school? That way you'll get involved with other um there and forge new ties, also for your dds.

Think about how you were before you married. What did you want to do? What plans did you have? What have you always wanted to try and never got around to? Are you good at singing, dancing, etc? Exercise classes are always great: they bring your self-esteem back, fight depressive thoughts, you'll meet new people and learn a new thing or two (belly dancing, martial arts, Pilates, etc.)

I'm wishing you the best of luck for your future!!

I think it's great that you are so positive about starting over. That's the first step!

Work?
Have you got any qualifications? Do you know what type of work you want? If you want to do something different, your local college of further ed is the place to start - look at p/t training course etc. OR look at the Open University courses online.

Other ideas- join a club/class- go to your CAB for a list of everything that's on in your area.

Volunteer- www.do-it.org- this lists all the volunteer work in the country by postcode.

Get fit- either by joining your local gym, or going for a run/walk every day- you'll feel loads better as it releases endorphins.

Get in touch with old friends for a coffee etc.

It's best to make yourself a plan of what you want to achieve- and break it down into weekly and monthly targets , then tick them off. Try to do something positive every day towards your goals.

Good luck!

thank you for leaving me messages alexa and hls its really hard to start over and regain being a person again.

have decided after thinking about what i am good at to try selling my art work and sculptures and set up a little website from home to make some extra money.
have phoned the museum for a volunteers application form and joined the pta all in one day.its the most positive attempts to do something in 5 years so will give it a go and keep you posted.
thanks for listening to me have felt so down over last few weeks my dcs keep me busy but the thought of doing something outside the home is quite exciting for a near recluse

Brilliant! Give yourself a treat! Hope it all works out.

you sound like such a go-getter! you've taken a confidence knock. but you're still the same you pre-dh. don't take him back, just when you're getting on your feet.

you've made a great start!

hello woba. Post the link to your website on here when you get it up and running. What sort of artist are you? It sounds like you are really enthused about your art work, the pta and that you are on the cusp of a fantastic new life! You come across like you have lots of energy and with energy, will come the confidence you feel you lack.

Good luck with everything and keep us posted!

woba you are already making a great start ! You go girl, and best of luck.

I really admire you for finding the courage to start new things when you're not feeling confident and anxious. Well done. you have shown stength and courage.

Have you looked at etsy.com for selling your stuff? I bought some artwork from the USA from it, but there are loads of people from the uk who sell handmade things there.

I admire you for being so brave.

wow thanks for all the messages will be trawling web all weekend .was looking at etsy just now and got so engrossed set fire to dds pizza in oven now in trouble with dd6 at what a bad cook i am
feel like a new woman this week must be the weather,,,,,,,
we have builders renovating the house next door and its the first time i had even noticed there were other men on the planet

have a goodweekend everyone xxxxxxxxxx