So here we go sorry for the long post … I have been in a relationship for 6 years. Married with 2 children and 1 from a previous relationship.
we had our first child together after only a short time and during my pregnancy I was so hormonal. I truly hated the sight of him.
i felt there was no help, financially and physically. He didn’t contribute to the major purchases that you need to make when having a child and spent all his money on himself.
when the baby cane the resentment went but he still didn’t take over financially and I continued to pay half of the house hold bills even when on maternity pay. He would buy him self designer clothes and I could barely afford primark.
I went back to work after 6 months as I couldn’t take the stress of not having any money anymore.
I took a lower paid job as my previous one meant I would have to work too many hours and too far away.
the job I got was really rubbish paid but i thought I’d at least have some money.
I was wrong.
my child got sick due to being at nursery so I had to take the time off work which I didn’t get paid for, but I still paid my half of the bills and the nursery fees.
on top of that I found out I was pregnant with another child. this was not planned and absolutely stupid on my side but it had happened and I just had to deal with it.
I carried on working and when it got time to take early maternity leave I did it and took my child out of nursery to reduce out goings.
fast forward to my child being born I had no money at all.
i felt so down and lonely.
i know i got myself in the ridiculous situation and no one to blame
but myself.
I could have left. I didn’t.
when my child was 4 months old I got a really good job, more money than the job I worked at when I met him, company car. Sick pay, flexible.
I started earning more than him.
now suddenly I pay most of the bills, i pay for most things.
he pays for his half of the bills and does contribute but if we ever go out it’s always me that pays.
any way fast forward to present day.
i work full time, kids are in school. He works early shifts so up before me and the kids.
i get them up, breakfast, dressed out the door, drop off at school. Work all day and pick the kids up, make tea.
he comes home from work and sleeps till 5. Eats his tea.
washes up most nights.
i bath the kids, story, bed.
he says he does loads around the house.
I disagree. I forced him to take 2 days off to look after our poorly child this week as I took most of December off for my other poorly child and some of Jan off for the snow so it was his turn.
ive worked all day, had to go the shops for food and then cooked as he refuses to cook every night. He will never do it.
he got in the bath whilst I sorted the kids then
I bathed the kids and put them to bed.
I just feel like he never does anything nice for me.
I hate him.
I don’t think I can be with him any more but I’m worried it’s me being dramatic.
I hate he is so lazy but tells everyone he’s an amazing husband and dad.
I don’t think he is.
he’s no use to me at all.
I have told him I don’t love him and he looks hurt, but carry’s on doing the bare minimum.
i feel like I’m letting everyone down.
my family love him but they don’t know the truth.
his family thinks he’s the golden child but they don’t know the truth.
i don’t have the heart to out him in front of everyone.
i just wish i knew what to do.
i feel lost and not myself anymore.
i act cheerful but inside I feel miserable.