I’ve been with my partner just over 2 years now. We don’t live together but live 5 min walk apart. I had been staying at his every 2 week in hopes of building up to eventually living together in the future. Until this year. The main issue we would have is how we are both used to living. I live with my mum who drives me mad having to keep everything spotless and put every away straight after using it. My partner couldn’t be more opposite if he tried. He hardly ever cleans or tidies up he leaves everything out from washing, cups, plates etc. I have told him I’d like him to do some cleaning and tidying and he has made half hearted effort which I would settle for. But it never lasts. We have had 2 holidays in Spain and both times he’s much cleaner than he is at home so it shows he can be cleaner he just chooses not to at home. He wanted me to stay at his more after our last holiday in September so when we got back he made a big effort going round every room cleaning it and tidying it. That lasted about a month so in that month I stayed at his each week as I’d said I would if he cleaned more. Then he started a new job at Tesco and from then it has felt like that is more important to him than anything. He isn’t short of money. His grandad left him £100,000 in his will. So he’s only working so he doesn’t spend all that and struggle for money later on. He’s only on a 16 hour contract which would be fine but he chooses to do a lot of overtime. By a lot I mean he’s working most days tho not many long hours because it’s quiet at the moment. Before Christmas he was doing probably over 40 hours a week and quite a few long days all through choice. So he’s working most admittedly he’d not cleaned up so I didn’t stay hoping it would make him realise I wouldn’t stay if I wasn’t comfortable with how he kept his house. But it seems to have had the reverse effect. He hasn’t bothered cleaning or wanting me to stay.
At Christmas he asked me if I wanted to go to Holland on ferry for Valentine’s Day. I told him I would like to but wasn’t sure if I’d be able to afford it. He said he would pay for me to go. So I thanked him and agreed. Over the next week he kept asking my mum to find out if she could get days off work as I needed her to look after my dog while I went. She said she would let us know when she could. My partner kept on and told her the dates we could go. He claimed he needed to know ASAP as the ferry prices would go up closer to the date and he couldn’t afford it if it went to full price. My mum did get days off to suit them dates but then our boiler broke so I needed to pay towards that (I live with my mum) so told my partner that I probably wouldn’t have much money for going away so he decided he would go to New York on his own for Valentine’s Day and be there 10 days. Now if he couldn’t afford to pay full price for a ferry how can he afford to go to New York? I haven’t said anything to him yet but I’m planning to when he goes away on Thursday. My mum isn’t happy with him for doing this and I’m not either. I mean if he wanted to go away alone why pretend to be going to take me away when all he was bothered about is going somewhere himself?