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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Stupid mistake

1 reply

TheFluentBee · 04/02/2025 20:40

Hi, please can I ask that you’re kind. I’ve beaten myself up so much and feel completely ashamed of myself. I’m also aware this should be on the sex chat but because I’m new I can’t post on it.
long story short, I split with my husband of 14 years 18 months ago. He was the only person I’d had sex with. I’ve dabbled in dating since, but nothing stuck. I had sex with one person late last year and we used a condom. I had been talking to someone for a little while and we me up a few days ago, we both had had too much to drink (both been out with friends first) and ended up back at his. We very foolishly didn’t put a condom on, we had possibly been having sex for 5/10 minutes when I came to this realisation and he put one on.
i think I had a STD check a few years ago when I had my coil fitted and obviously had HIV checks when I had my children. But I am terrified I could have given him something. What are the chances if I’ve only been with my ex husband unprotected and had those checks whilst I was with him? I’ve spoken to my GUM clinic and ordered tests. I know he could have given me. something and that terrifies me too but I’m not sure I could cope with the guilt if its me that passes it. I know i made a stupid mistake and truly feel disappointed and ashamed. Thank you in advance.

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 04/02/2025 20:50

I'd honestly say the chances are very slim and you're worrying unnecessarily. Having said that, you have taken the steps to check yourself. If there was anything, don't let guilt consume you, it takes two to tango..

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