Does anyone live separately to their partner?

[Whyseverythingsocomplicated]

I’ve recently starting seeing someone and I’ve been completely honest with them about wanting to not get married or live together. I’ve got ten year old twins and I love it being just us and I love time on my own when they are at their dads. I have zero interest in being married as it just complicates everything. I also really don’t want anyone moving in who I have to then look after, answer to, consider, or who try’s to change our set up we already have. Sounds harsh but you get my drift. So do any of you lovely lot live separately and does it work?

Doesnt sound harsh
Sounds v sensible. Protects your kids too

Yes I live apart from my DP. When we met we both had part time care of our respective kids. His are older now although one still lives at home, mine are still in school.
We see each other usually every other week to align with the 50 50 childcare schedule. We will stay with each other a few days and then back to our respective houses. It works perfectly. I enjoy the time we spend together and genuinely look forward to seeing him. I also have better sleep and able to do my own thing without him and I enjoy my time with my kids too without having to divide it.
It makes zero sense for us to get married, way complicated in terms of money/inheritance etc and I also don't really want to live together for the foreseeable.

Yep. I've been with my partner 17 years now and we don't live together. I was a single parent when we met and didn't need a father for my son. We live 5 minutes walk from each other and work together. It works for us. We have discussed the possibility of living together when we hit retirement age, but we'll see.

It's entirely reasonable. Your kids need their space and you need your space too. Any halfway normal adult will understand this.

Yes I’ve been with mine 8 years and we live apart, we both have kids and although they get on I have no desire to force them all to live together. When they have all left home I will probably live with him but right now it works perfectly. No petty arguments about the bins, plenty of space and we still miss each other and enjoy spending time together when we do 😊

We're LATs, 18 years in..works for us.

Yes, I don't live with my boyfriend and have been with him a long time.

My own experience of stepfathers meant I never wanted to chance it for my kids. I also don't have that great faith in my picker, so I am reluctant to become too intertwined in terms of money or home with another man.

I'm pretty self-sufficient and enjoy time to myself. He's very much got his own life and interests. Downsides that he's not always available when I am & vice versa and obviously couples have more buying power combined, but upsides are it keeps it fresh.

I think living together generally benefits men more.

Not harsh at all it's common sense, so much easier only having to think about yourself. I've had happy relationships and I've always made it very clear early on that I won't be moving in, I only moved in with DH when we had a baby after 5 happy years in a LDR. Having a baby is the only reason I'd move in with a man, I expect them to do their share of the work.
Every day on MN there are so many problems in relationships, I swear half of them would be solved if people waited longer before moving in, I think lots of people rush to move in together then ask for advice on how to get rid when he turns out to be a lazy cocklodger or controlling. I often say you can have a relationship without ever living together.

Another one not living with my partner as we both have kids from previous relationships. So we see each other whenever kids are with their other parent. We do expect to live together once the youngest (mine) has flown the nest, but as with other posters, we have no desire to do it before the kids leave. They don't need the hassle of a blended family (his already have that with their other parent, I just don't see the need to force it on mine).

It’s definitely becoming a lot more common nowadays OP especially with those who have kids and/or had a previous marriage/cohabitating relationship and now value their own space.

Im single but I know I would never cohabit again. If I meet someone else I will make that clear to them.

Yes, been with my partner nearly 5 years and we live in our own houses. No kids. I'd like to move in together one day but it's not necessary.

Yes I do, we’re both divorced with older kids, until recently my DC lived at home but now it’s just me and I love it. DP is nearby and we spend plenty of time together but I love my freedom and it would be way too complicated to try and sort out finances fairly at this stage of our lives - I own, he doesn’t but he earns more and has more savings. Ironically it would be cheaper for us both if we did live together but I’m not risking our relationship to save a few quid.