Why do MIL’s have issues with their DIL’s, surely it’s counter productive??

[Alotofgrey]

Why do a lot of Mother in laws behave like this? I hate to generalise but I will for this instance so as to gain some understanding. (I know there are fantastic ones).

So your son meets a lady and instantly the mum dislikes the lady. (Nothing wrong with the lady). I assume the mum fears loosing their son. What I don’t understand is by treating the lady poorly this is counter intuitive isn’t it? Because the lady is often the one to arrange the family. I know in my instance my MIL has never approved before it was even possible to know me. So inevitably her fears come true because why would I want to be around and promote time with someone for my family when they dislike me. It doesn’t make sense. If fear of loss was such a worry you’d welcome them so that they want to spend time with you wouldn’t you?

It’s not got any better. We had our Xmas gifts dropped off the other day as they were taking up too much space in her house. 2 X large packets of toilets rolls. Seriously now I don’t have the space to store these either. Could she have found anything less personal and to wipe your arse with it….,it’s got to be a joke!

thats really strange 😅🫠 did you mention you needed toilet roll or something?

Nope

I love my DIL, and I think she loves me. She took me out for a big birthday and we both make an effort with each other.
I can’t imagine life without her

What does your man think of his mother buying all
these toilet rolls?. Does he actually have an opinion or is he a mouse when it comes to his mother. Does he say things like well you know what she is like etc. if so his inertia when it gives to his mother hurts him as well as you.

My SIL is a lovely person. She never has a bad word about anyone. My mother really doesn’t like her. That is because my mother is jealous of my SIL who gets to live with her son.
I had a wonderful MIL.

I'll give you some further reasons for such behaviour:

They tend to have a very poor emotional relationship with their husband so use their son as another means of emotional support and or advice. ( I am looking at you here MIL).

Jealousy and low self esteem; how dare mummy's little boy grow up and leave her!.

Some mothers have control issues so feel both betrayed and upset when they see their son in a serious relationship. They see their son's partner as a threat to their own special relationship.