Accepting that I might be single forever

[Oreocake24]

Ladies….

how do you accept that you might be single forever and never have sex again?

im a lone parent. Late 20s. Been single for 3 years. Don’t have many friends despite spending the last year trying to put myself out there. Work from home, spend weekends with my DC and family.

have tried dating apps, had a couple of dates that were horrific but mostly just waste my time talking to men for it to lead no where.

without sounding big headed, I’m an attractive woman and very personable. Men find me attractive but it never goes past talking for a bit on OLD.

people say if you want sex just put yourself out there, but I have to find someone attraction and have a connection at least to be able to sleep with someone - but that seems impossible. And when I do go out on the odd occasion, men never approach me.

im sick of it all really. I love my DC so much and being a mum. But I miss affection and intimacy.

do I just accept my fate now

With all due respect, you e been single 3 years and you’re not even in your 30’s yet. You’ve been on a couple of dates and given up based on a tiny amount of experience. I met my husband online when I was 35 and a single mum. Yes there’s a lot of horrors out there but if you want to meet someone, you have to get involved. If you don’t want to do online dating, you need to meet men in other ways. Take up a hobby that interests you, try new things, do an interest course like a language or something and meet men there. Go to the gym. Whatever it is that you’ll enjoy and where there will be men. It can seem like you’ll never meet anyone but if you put in some effort and accept that you’ll probably meet a few arses, there’s a high probability you will.

I honestly don’t think you need to accept your fate in your late 20s!!! I hadn’t met my partner and started a family until 10 years after that! There is hope for you yet!

perhaps explore some new interest or take up some hobbies as a way of meeting people

Should be fine; all mums in our school have small kids and look over 50. They might be 40 sth but you need to know you have decades in front of you and relax

I’m a single mum, late 30’s and found my current partner online. So absolutely not! You have plenty of time

I thought you were going to be in your 50s or 60s when I opened this!
Don't be silly op. Please look into manifesting and law of attraction and vision boards etc. there are lots of single mums who find love - even if you wait ten years for dating when your kids are teens you'll still be young!

you just do. i'm a lone parent. been single 8 years, no sex at all in that time not even so much as a kiss! kids don't see their father so there is zero chance of me dating, you just have to accept it im afraid. i'm only 36 and i will probably be alone forever now last had sex when i was 28! sad times.

I'm 40, 2 failed marriages and I'm very accepting of being single forever. Beats being with a dickhead.

you're too young to be saying forever stuff!

34 and feel the exact same way!! To be honest, I think it’s the best way to think because if you accept that that might be the case and you make peace with it, it means that you’re not in a big rush to find someone with a sense of urgency, and therefore you’re less likely to end up with someone incompatible or a dickhead. You’ve made peace with potentially being alone so if you do find someone that genuinely enhances your life it’s a bonus.

You have to find happiness in your own company. I mean, for me, if I think about the fact I might never love again, yes it’s sad because I know I deserve it, and I do semi put myself out there, but I’m not desperate. If someone isn’t right for me, I won’t force it. I know my worth and what I would want and if no one meets my expectations then so be it, I’ll be okay alone!

The way the dating scene is today makes it so hard for people like me though because I’m exactly the same as you, OP. I don’t want to talk to and date 20 people at the same time, I want to take my time and genuinely connect with someone. These days everyone just wants hook ups and no commitment. It’s the paradox of choice that the apps have caused that has ruined dating. No one values individuals anymore.

Still so young. Try not to overthink it.
Take up some new hobbies or interests, join a gym or classes, prioritise making new friends etc. Still be open to OLD, but don’t put pressure on yourself.
Consider alternative ways to meet someone, such as speed dating (which could just be a bit of fun).

I don’t think that’s the case unless you want it to be. And there’s nothing wrong with being single. I’m in your position (kids don’t see their father so I have them 100% of the time) but I am still in a committed relationship. It’s harder sure, you just have to be more creative with how you spend time together. Days off when they’re in school/nursery etc. But then when your kids are older it’ll get easier. Maybe that’s when you’ll have your time :)

mine are older but have sen one is home educated and one is on a part time timetable so really no time to myself definitely not happening for me 🤣😆 I've accepted it though, it is what it is.

is DC a Dear Cat or Dear Child or you live in DC?

Also you're still a baby & if you want to be with someone you have plenty of time don't sweat it, relax.

You are incredibly young.

Men use OLD as a free sexwork app. Avoid it. You're advertising yourself for sexwork and not even being properly paid. They get it for 100 quid when it should cost at least 500. They just pretend to want dates and connection. That aspect is probably a fun add on to just calling a number and saying what you really want. Men adore roleplay.

Yes, you have young children. I'm in my 40s with young children. I have hobbies and interests and use childcare, even a childminder, to go out and do things where I can meet people and have things in common.

I don't want romantic partnership I've realised I'm happier alone.

But you do and you can have it, but not via OLD. Use a childminder and get out and do things for yourself.

Groups. Writing; books clubs; theatre groups; meet ups, debate clubs; improv nights; workshops; paid classes; language classes; language exchange meet ups; movie clubs; cinema clubs; do some volunteering and meet people that way.

The opportunities are actually endless.

I'm a lone parent and been single since 2017.

My finances are the best they have been. I arrange life to suit me and ds, we get on well. I have a fulfilling job, friends, hobbies and sport.

I have no one urging me to spend money I don't have on things that aren't necessary. No-one criticising my cooking or my home. No-one trying to manipulate me.

It was the realisation that I am, and ds is, happier, healthier and more secure without a man, that stopped me worrying about it.

If I ever meet a man who is worth knowing, then great, but until that happens our lives are happy & fulfilled, better without.

OP, you are doing the right things, putting yourself out there, and you have decades to find someone lovely. Don't settle, just keep doing what you are doing. Could you find another single parent to swap occasional babysitting with, so you can date a little more.

When l was single l just used to think this is a stage of my life, not forever.
I actually found much peace in just focusing on creating a better way of life for children and myself.
Now l do have a partner and we are happy living apart, in our own separate homes, but l will never regret those years. l learned to stand strong and independent. I know full well l can manage very well on my own, l learned so many things l would never have done had l a partner in tow. Those years were a blessing, not a curse.
Make the most of what you have now. One day in the future you could feel stuck, bored or deeply unhappy in a relationship that is hard to extract yourself from.
Relationships are not the be all and end all.
The best relationship is always the one you have with yourself, no matter your situation.

Lol.