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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Dating

30 replies

Tishy778 · 03/02/2025 19:40

I can't make my mind up about a guy I met online. We had our 5th date yesterday. We have had 3 dinners out which he paid for. Yesterday he came to my house for lunch. When he arrived he said he was sorry he didn't bring anything. I was expecting flowers or wine or something. He ended up staying for dinner too and I felt a bit pissed off. I hadn't invited him for dinner but he sort of ended up staying. He's well mannered otherwise. Cooking two meals and not bringing even a tiny gift - am I being unreasonable? Should I say something?

OP posts:

MarkingBad · 04/02/2025 18:52

I cleaned the whole house from top to bottom

Surely that is something you do for yourself as much as for visitors. I'm not very tidy and don't live in a show home by any means but I still clean my house top to bottom even if no one is visiting.

Sorry I think your priorities are different to this person, if this is not how you want to be treated then he isn't the man for you. I equally think he hasn't done anything wrong either but your views aren't going to align well on other things either so best not to drag it out.

astl · 04/02/2025 19:03

In your 2nd post you say you're annoyed cos you're broke. But then you also say you'd have been happy to pay for the first 3 meals?

Also you're expecting to be compensated for cleaning your house and making an effort with your appearance?

Plus if you're broke and can't afford to heat your house for 24hrs and buy the stuff for lunch - how would a bunch of flowers help with the cost of that??

You sound like the type of money grabbing gold diggers that gives other women who are happy to pay their own way a bad rep

Em1ly2023 · 04/02/2025 19:43

Tishy778 · 03/02/2025 23:02

I live in a 16th century listed building with no insulation. The average temp for the last week has been 5 degrees inside. Most people don't want to endure that hence I wanted to make it comfortable. The heating has to be on for that long at maximum to get to 16 degrees. It costs more than a dinner out to get the house warm.

Yes, but that’s not his problem & he wouldn’t have known how much it cost to heat!
To come to someone’s house without anything as a gesture shows a basic lack of manners tbh.
Did you shag him? He was clearly expecting sex and not sweltering temperatures and a well-scrubbed environment! :)

illegalSausage · 05/02/2025 08:26

@LilacRaven and @TwistedWonder I prefer a 100% provider man dynamic so 50 50 and woman also paying isn't for me.

Summerhillsquare · 05/02/2025 08:30

I think op is confused due to hypothermia!

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