In my 30s feeling deflated

[GreyandBlues]

Hi all,

im really struggling at the moment coming to terms with something that happened over summer last year.

me (31) and my ex (32) were together for 2 years and living with his parents. We’d both been made redundant in the summer and found out I was pregnant. He spoke constantly about how he wants to marry me and I’m the love of his life and I can honestly feel I never felt so secure in a relationship.

however as I told him he completely changed towards me, I said I wanted to keep it and he said he resented me for my choices as we didn’t have jobs. After weeks of arguing and even breaking up, he said I was being selfish and a million other things and under the pressure and I fear. I decided to terminate it. A decision I deeply regret.

since terminating it he has completely disregarded and me and blames me for the break up saying I left him in the dust and he can’t love me anymore as I said I was going to have the baby without him.

this all happened 6/7 months ago.

im struggling to heal from this and also just lost hope for men. I’ve wanted kids and a family my whole life now I just feel like it’s too late. I’m doing therapy but it’s still incredibly difficult to feel hopefully. I recently tried dating apps again but still feel like my heart is too scarrrred. Before this happened we rarely argued and seemed to have a good relationship.

Is there hope for me finding someone new?

@GreyandBlues there is hope I promise you, but you need to heal first, you must be devastated and grieving for that termination. You are 31, you have a good number of years ahead.l, you have your time to come x

I am grieving and even though everyone is telling me it was was the right decision it still hurts and really does not feel like it.

@GreyandBlues you don't have to see the decision as right or wrong. It is just a decision that got taken that you can't change. You just need to let go of the pain you feel and accept that the only thing you can do is move forward, wiser. X